This is not a Blog.. This is da bomb.

the Rainbow kicks Barney's arse

2007-11-20T09:45:00.000+08:00

The show Barney as we all know, is a whole load of SHIT and the show intends to turn all kids into possessed souls chanting "I love you, you love me" all day long.

What the world needs is a kids show that teaches children the realities of life like masturbation, sex, swearing, etc. (Note: etc is used to make ppl think you know more than u actually do).

So some English geniuses, hail them, came up with this show in the 70s but because of the Queen's orders it was kept off the air. But of cause nothing can be kept off YouTube, including top secret Malaysian bribe induced discussions.

It is believed that Ali G watched this show once and it was the defining point in his life that turned him into the nice polite caring soul that he is now.

I urge you all to let anyone you know who is below the age of 8 to watch this.

"Lets all go play with our balls now"

GUNS . GUNS . GUNS

2007-11-01T15:16:00.000+08:00

No this is not a hip hop gangsta video.
What's with niggas and fucking guns anyways?

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In our country, which is basically the penis of the asian continent, guns are not legal. However if you have enough money
anything is possible - including becoming the prime minister maybe.

Like most Asians, the penis of the Asian continent is small. This penis, is surrounded by a HUGE testicle (made up of 13000+ mini testicles) to the south west and a small dipshit kiasu testicle directly south.

Why Guns Should Be Made Legal On This Penis.

1. STUPID and i mean STUPID drivers who don’t even deserve to ride a bicycle.

"These kind of drivers see a bird flying and brake to avoid it"

People should be allowed to stop their cars, and shoot these dumbass drivers.

2. IDIOTS who drive in the middle of two lanes - directly on the line like a fucking airplane on the runway.

People should be allowed to drive over them, stop their cars, and shoot these dumbass drivers.

3. CUNTS who drive at 25km/h on the fast lane - a common occurrence on the LDP.

People should be allowed to drive over them, stop their cars, piss on them, and shoot these dumbass drivers.

4. FACE PROBLEM probationary drivers who think they are highly skilled drivers.

People should be allowed to drive over them, stop their cars, piss on them, and shoot these dumbass drivers twice.

5. "I suffer from Chronic-park-like-a-dumb-cross-eyed-brainless-bitch".
These drivers park so badly that half of their car is sitting in the next parking bay thus not allowing anyone else to park there. I wonder if they pay for two bays?

People should be allowed to wait till the idiot comes back for HER car, punch HER in the face, piss on HER, shoot the dumbass driver twice and if SHE has a better car, we should be allowed to take it home.

6. Old women, or actually all women drivers in general who look at their side mirrors, see you speeeeeeeding, then just cut into your lane causing you to see your life flash before your eyes for a few mili-seconds.

People should be allowed to slam into them, make them run off the road, piss on them, shoot the dumbass driver trice and if she has a better car, we should be allowed to take it home.

7. REMPITS.

...need I say more?

Killing them off would seriously do the world a favour.

Mika Heineken

2007-10-30T00:53:00.000+08:00

A funny tribute to one of the best drivers ever in Formula 1.

No it was not easy....

She was beautiful.

2007-10-06T00:52:00.000+08:00

Some say that I look like James Blunt...
But the same people also still do argue that the Moon is the center of the universe and that Rajnikanth was once actually human..

"There are no stupid questions, just stoopid-people"

Amber Cina

2007-10-05T00:58:00.000+08:00

We've all heard of Amber Chia...
Some may have even heard the way she speaks english - and then turned off the radio.

Anyways this is a song by Ben's Bitches, it's on I think their latest album, called Mamak Conspiracy. "Be original - buy original" (if you feel like it or you can afford it, if not be Malaysian and download).

Anyways this video is from Kenny Sia's website.

Remember, insult people more often - it makes them happy.
OUT!

Indians make the world go round. Not.

2007-09-25T11:02:00.001+08:00

Stoopid-People might be up and running again soon.

Things that stand in the way:

1. Being too lazy to post.
2. I'm hungry.
3.
4.
5.
6. I'll think of the rest when I have the time.

Back to Indians....enjoy.

CHINAMANNNNN CHINAMANNN

2005-11-15T00:38:00.000+08:00

last post bang chinese girls.. this one.. chinese guys la.. lol

lazy to talk cock la.. so oh well heres it..
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
marvel comics talked about almost every superhero we know.. but one was left out..
the famous..
the strongest..
the fattest..
the fastest..
the most kiasu also..
fetured in the sin chew or chiew.. jit poh as superhero of the year fer 25 yrs straight presenting.. weighing only as much as 3 pigs.. give it up for.. CHIIIIINAAAA MANNNNNNNN.

china guy :
ah halo ah halo. tankyew for kaming to my shows. first i wan start with my new theme song. okay so here goes. KWOK hit it! play button! goooo~~~.. ( k la that as ah beng as i can get wei)

*fengtau kicks in*
wata teet teet bzz bzz bzz tttt bzzt bzzt wata ting tong ti ting ting bzzt bzz tititi tiong piong wuw uw...

chinaman, chinaman

does whatever a chinese can
sells a dvd anywhere
runs away from MPPJ

Look out!
here comes a chinaman

is he yellow?
listen good
hes got clits under his hood
can he swing with a noodle
take a look underneath
saw that?
there goes a chinaman.. (into the drain...)

in the heat of daylight
at scene of the crime
like a streak of yellow light,
he runs away just in time

chinaman, chinaman
friendly jinjanghood chinaman
fame and fortune is NEVER ingored
evo nine is his reward

look out
there goes a chinaman

in the chill of night
on a road in jinjang
like a streak of light,
an evo races by... (being chased by about 55 cop cars...)

chinaman, chinaman
bangs a lala like no one can
nothing is left of the bitch
2 inches did some wonderous shit

to him... why does it have to be so big??
my blond mohawk always does the trick
oh yeah! cause im the CHINAMAN!

bloggers and life(less)(ness)..(ism)

2005-11-08T23:10:00.000+08:00

as the title suggest this post as usual is about PUURE SHIT.. you see ah.. some fuckers.. brainless ppl .. ppl with no blogs.. you know you stop to think and you realise the ppl with no blogs .. make the most noise about blogs.. like wtf wei?.. its not part of yr life so just stay out of it la? .. those with no blogs condemn those with blogs.. cibai la lu bapa lu tada lanjiao. so theres these ppl aite.. they go around spreading the word that bloggers are lifeless?.. and im like sup with that? firstly if they were LIFELESS.. den wtf are they blogging about? .. someone elses life? their parents work stress? their dogs sex life with all the bitches?
ya know the other day me and my fren got to talking about a CHINESE fren of ours trying to save petrol by staying over at his CHINESE girlfrens place instead of going home. so then came the topic of getting by her dad? so we came to a conclusion that in order to get by her dad .. all the GUY had to do was put on a wig? cos you dont really need extra chest flesh impersonating a CHINESE girl.. i mean theyre CHINESE. A couple of years back there was this sony advert about the new wega tv.. about how flat it is.. and in that commercial they had a football field and other FLAT stuff.. i think it would have saved them loads of cash if they just got a CHINESE gurl to lie on her back and be photographed from the side.. and caption being 'superbly flat just like the new sony wega'. and think about it.. why do chinese girls waste money on bras?.. like what the fuck does it even hold up? .. hello nipples dont sag wei u dont need a bra fer those nipps.. haha you know how almost every post i have a selected group of ppl i bang and i usually end by saying how that certain group of ppl gonna come try kill me.. well this post? .. all the chinese lians gonna come my place and lift their tops? woi keling! this are a boobs okay!!.. hahaha.. oh well.. good night folks

Theres a new dawg in the rumah atap kampung

2005-11-02T13:09:00.000+08:00

Good evening everyone, my name is shin.. well theres actually two more syllables to that name but who cares?.. ahh that little chinese dude over there raised his hand? .. well my name aint tap some bong ..nor is it russel peters either hahaha. Whoa and i just found out stoopid-ppl .. the site which just won the recent asian bloggers award for the site which is updated once in about 75 and a half yrs.. has a fan.. WHOA.. aite this fer you man thnx yaww..
so hey in tamil theres this famous wise saying that goes something like 'unge tata kunji illai'.. that means yr grandad has no.. ahem little friend? .. toy boy?.. PENIS k PENIS..GROINN.. anyways.. the thing about this saying that makes it wise.. is how versatile it is..you can take it and put it anywhere.. in a poem ..in a song .. in anything and it will blend and rhyme in.. no matter what. like.. take red hot chilli peppers fer example.. standing in line to see the show tonite and unge tata kunji illaiii ..by the wayy .. haha see? so everyone GO AND spread the wordd.. use unge tata kunji illai more often..

Puppy needs sayanging, home and lots of love urgently!

2005-11-02T01:50:00.000+08:00

Iwahara RETURNS !

Notttttttt ~

(The following message is brought to you by Mr. Joel Wijesuria)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My cousin rescued a puppy the other day from the park near his house. Some faggots were throwing firecrackers at it and then kicking it and stomping on it. Its in some shock and has a few burns but is otherwise stable. Its very cute, I will obtain pictures shortly. Anyway, if you or anyone you know wants to adopt a little puppy then please contact me and I'll send my cousin to you.

We don't want to give the little fella up to SPCA cos we dont want him to be put to sleep. I say again: If you know anyone, please please contact me ASAP.

joel.wijesuria@gmail.com

Sob Sob =(

2005-10-21T10:24:00.000+08:00

Both of us at stoopid-people would like to extend our condolences to the family of the prime minister, all ministers of the parliment, the government and to all malaysians over the sudden passing of our first lady Datin Paduka Seri Endon Mahmood.

(drum roll)
Negaraku
Tanah Tumpahnya Darahku
Rakyat Hidup
Bersatu Dan Maju
Rahmat Bahagia
Tuhan Kurniakan
Raja Kita Selamat Bertakhta
Rahmat Bahagia
Tuhan Kurniakan
Raja Kita Selamat Bertakhta

oh well life still goes on.. bai bai sob sob

HALELUYAH..HHHHHH

2005-10-20T12:44:00.000+08:00

..halleluyah.. halleluyah

fuh i can see the crowd cheering.. their voices raised.. hands going up and down up and down in a mexican wave.. eyyy that fella hand going down down down oni.. eyyy what that fella up to..now the hand entering his pants edi oikkk... ANNYWAYSSS.. we.. hmm I..wud like to appologies fer the mother fucking ass long time we were missing in action.. we were soo busy doing nothing.. and well too lazy to write anything la.. iwahara tak semangat edi.. i also aih boring wei.. BUT.. BUUUUUTTT .. wait halleluyah again.. HAALLLLEELUUYAHHHH HHHAAAAAALLLEEEELUUYAHHHHHH.. hmm kk so i found this stupid frenster post of which i thot i could make evern stooooopider so well im back here.

i need to warn our readers the theme of this post is how stupid girls are.. so if you are a sensitive girl i suggest you close this page or click one of the links on the right, thank you.
okay men! moving on..

you see ah some vain.. delusional.. just to stupid.. brainless.. assless.. boobless.. prolly only had one bf in their entire life and that also prolly some brickfields bala.. type girls.. the EXTRAA STOOOOOOPIDDD type .. you know.. the type where you walk into mcds and say to the natan behind the counter.. hey dude give me something dumber than you.. and he wud pack one of these girls in a happy meal pack and give it to you for free.. no 4.99 with a 5% government tax involved here hello..so one of these .. damn i just cant stop banging them.. they are just too stoopid to be let off the hook just like that omg.. i just cant stand idiots..anyway *3 deep breaths*..*one short wank*..OK im calm.. an idiot female posted this.. even the english is fucked wei.. so dumb wei...
----------------------------------------------------------------

when a GUY sms you everyday,
he expects you to reply.
[not all the time la.. when he smses you just to remind you how stupid you are.. no i dont really think he expects a reply.. and IF he needs to sms you to remind your pig ass head to reply the earlier sms then i really dont know what to say.. go jump of a cliff la]

when a GUY calls you everyday,
he wants to hear ur voice.
[or maybe he just has too much credit?.. maybe you sound like a donkey and it tickles him so basically because you were fucking in yr fantasy world in the back of yr head imagining him actually liking you and dancing on a pixie horse with you on cloud ten you couldnt hear him laugh his ARSE OFF when you said.. oh hi dear HEE HORRR eheh eheh HEEHORR.. yes im free (sound of school books flying of the table).. you see studies show the average male is 4% smarter than females.. so if we really wanted to hear yr voice.. we would record yr damn voice and play it on an ipod while we walk around town.. and also to save credit we wont call you.. cos technically letting history speak for itself when we have money we dont blow it on shoes so i can conclude that males are more thrifty and hence proving my statement on saving credit]

when a GUY is quiet,
he is tired of loving you but yet don't know if
you love him.
[when a guy is quiet it just means he has nothing to say. full stop. it does not in any way relate to love.. this whole idea was prolly thot up by some desperate ugly mangy dog face type gurl who when the pizza delivery guy called to ask for directions thot the pizza guy was in love with her.. btw he kept quiet cos you lived in johor and prolly directed him to the road that has the signboard that says perlis - 384km - enjoy yr ride.]

when a GUY looks at you with eyes full of
questions,
he is wondering if u love him.
[there is only one question in a mans heart when he is out with you.. will i get sex tonite?. so when he looks at you he his either.. 1. pondering the main question. 2. imagining what you would look like naked. 3. stressing his braincells out trying to figure out why yr boobs miraculously seem bigger compared to when you are in school. you girls cant cheat us forever.. there will come a day we will find that tissue paper between yr bra and yr boney flat as an iron board chest. you cant lie to us forever.. you cant.. we win.. you lose.. end of story. IF YR FLAT FACE IT DAMMIT.]

when a GUY says "im fine" after a few
seconds,
he is not fine at all.
[maybe he was watching a football match or a race and yr stupid question wrapped up in yr smelly breath took a while to register itself in his mind. and technically guys being all straight forward down to earth ppl if we aint fine we would just say no im not fine.]

when a GUY stares at you,
he is thinking if only he can have you.
[maybe you just did something so stupid he is looking at you and trying to hold in his laughter. maybe he is checking out that big ass new pimple you have on yr forehead. maybe you got salad stuck between yr teeth. maybe you got a face of a guy. anyways its got nothing to do with love. stop being so narrow minded there can be a million reasons as to why he is staring at you but i sesiously doubt 'love' relates to any of it.]

when a GUY lies on ur shoulder,
he is hoping time would stop forever.
[when a guy lies on yr shoulder it only means one thing - that the arm rest of the bench has bird shit on it.. and he is only thinking of one thing - when will these damn dbkl motherfuckers come and clean this shit up i cant stand her shoulder anymore and her armpit stinks of yesterdays fish curry.]

when a GUY wants to see you everyday,
he miss you.
[maybe he thinks yr hot.. maybe that big pimple looks funny to see so he wants to see it all the time..whats with this whole cliche love thing, so i see my aunty everyday i love her la now? bugger off la you mentally disturbed desparate for love ppl]

when a GUY says "i love you",
he actually means it.
[it actually means i love yr body or plainly i wud love to have sex with you..for free.. cos it was just a crush type just going on mere dates relationship then he has to buy u dinner.. go movie..go to yr hse and then only have sex.. but if he LOVESS YOUUU then just.. heyy bored la.. oh well lets get it going onn. but when he says will you marry me thaaat means.. i would like to have sex with you LEGALLY from now on]

when a GUY says he cant live without u,
he means if you die, he will die.
[no laaa ayiohhh when he says he cant live without youu means he cant afford to buy food at the shop so he needs you to cook for him lor also he cant afford a maid so he needs u to clean his house. when you die.. he will just find a new gal la.. why shud he die when theres more women, alcohol, and drugs on this wonderful planet.]

when a GUY says "i miss you",
he really misses you.
[he misses everything ABOUT you he just doesnt miss YOU.. he misses yr body, yr sex, yr cooking, yr hse cleaning, yr..yr anything. anything and everything accept YOU. happy?]

when a GUY says "i will wait for you
he mean it
[i will wait for sex. why the hell should he wait for you if hes not getting anything out of it think about it thinkkk.]
--------------------------------------------------------------------

so.. whichever fucking jinjang joe or lian wrote this i hope you get a chance to read this post and think about yr stupid idea of love and life and get a fucking life.. and can u stop making love sound like its some lame thing ah.

fuh damn nice post wei.. i shud be expecting the women rights groups to be circling my house with burning torches anytime soon muahahaha i invite you to try burn me down bitch

till i feel like banging ppl again.. bai bai and tankyew

Point to ponder

2005-10-03T10:25:00.000+08:00

STUDIES SHOW THAT STUPID PEOPLE RARELY COME UP WITH SMART IDEAS.

NOW AINT THAT JUST PURE GENIUS...

Why The Chicken Really Had to Cross The Road?

2005-09-27T12:09:00.000+08:00

A friend posted this on friendster and i thot it was too funny to just let off the hook so here it is..lol .. thnx clement
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What The Experts Had To Say...

Kindergarten teacher:

Because it wanted to get to the other side

Aristotle:

It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.

Arthur Andersen (consultant):

Deregulation of the chicken's side of the
road was
threatening it dominant market position. The
chicken was faced with significant
challenges
create and develop the competences
required for
the newly competitive market. Andersen, in a
partnering relationship with the client,helped
the
chicken by rethinking its physical distribution
strategy and implementation processes.
Using the
Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen
helped
the chicken use its skills, methodologies,
knowledge, capital and experiences to align
the
chicken people, processes and technology
in
support of its overall strategy within a
Program
Management framework.

Richard M. Nixon:

The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat,
the
chicken did NOT cross the road.

Computer Programmer:

In order for the chicken to cross the road
safely
they would need more than one driver to
access
the server farm, if not they will hang in the
middle
of the road.

Jerry Seinfeld:

Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why
doesn't anyone ever think to ask "What the
heck
was this chicken doing walking around all
over the
place anyway?"

Bill Gates:

I have just released the new Chicken Office
2000,
which will not only cross roads, but will lay
eggs,
file your important documents, and balance
your
checkbook.

Dr M:

You know, I am tired of all this...'apa-nama'
chicken-chicken bisnes...the foreign powers
should stop intervening in our domestic
affairs and
just leave our chickens alone.. If they want
to... 'apa nama' cross the road, they should
be
allowed to cross the road... Malaysia is a
democratic country; we let our chickens do
whatever they want to do... as long as they
don't
threaten the Malay unity and try to topple the
government...and if they plan to do so... we
won't
hesitate to use the ISA...

Pak Lah:

Ini semua adalah khabar angin
sahaja...jangan
percaya khabar kabar angin ini semua...
biasalah ini adalah taktik pembangkang
untuk
memecah belahkan perpaduan ayam-ayam
semua... jangan percaya... jangan percaya...

Sammy Vellu:

Ayyooyoo... belakang cerita lain kali, kita
sude
bikin banyak jembatan, itu ayam musti guna
jembatan untuk lintas itu jalan lagi pun kalu
itu
ayam mau pigi jalan-jalan, beritau sama
saya juga,
saya bolley buat lebbey banyak toll........

Karam Singh Walia:

Seperti yang saudara dapat lihat, kelihatan
ayam-
ayam itu sedang melintas jalan. Mereka
bukan
sahaja melintas jalan, malah membuang
najis
diatas jalan dan ini adalah pencemaran
yang
paling hebat di maya ini. Bapa-bapa dan ibu-
ibu
ayam haruslah mengambil inisiatif untuk
melatih
ayam-ayam agar menahan najis sewaktu
melintas
jalan, sekian saya sudahi dengan.........Ayam
di
jalan di lintaskan; Ayam di reban mati tak
makan.

Colonel Sanders:

I missed one?

Bill Clinton:

I've had so many chicks, I can't remember...

Wan Kamarudin (NTV7's EDISI SIASAT):

Ape kejadahnyer ini semua, KL dah jadik
reban
ayam, mak bapak ayam asyik menganga
saje.

Zainal Ariffin Ismail (TV3's MISTERI
NUSANTARA:

Ada saksi menyatakan yang mereka dapat
melihat
ayam-ayam ini melintasi jalan-jalan di
kampung ini
pada waktu malam. Ada yang menyatakan
ayam-
ayam ini merupakan penyamaran jin. Dan
ada juga
mengaitkan ia berkaitan dengan peristiwa
silam di
kampung ini. Apakah sebenarnya maksud
tersirat
ayam-ayam ini melintas jalan? Oleh itu saya
akhiri, "Jangan biarkan hidup anda
diselubungi
misteri........."

Zainal Alam Kadir:

"Ayam siapa kalau bukan ayam kita..."

Virus-C (Clement)

"The Chicken saw a hot chick on the other side of
the road"

Shin```
"the chicken crossed to the other side because KFC was on this side of the road"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...version two

2005-09-25T17:06:00.000+08:00

k weiii this is from www.ahajokes.com

www.ahajokes.com i am help you all promote yr site
www.ahajokes.com i am telling everyone this joke is from you website
www.ahajokes.com i giv you full credit this is you joke
www.ahajokes.com please dont kill me
www.ahajokes.com thanks fer the joke

damn funny wei .. just how smart this jews are wei..

A Rabbi and a Priest are driving one day and, by a freak accident, have a head-on collision with tremendous force. Both cars are totally demolished, but amazingly, neither of the clerics has a scratch on him.

After they crawl out of their cars, the rabbi sees the priest's collar and says, "So you're a priest. I'm a rabbi.

Just look at our cars.

There is nothing left, yet we are here, unhurt.

This must be a sign from God!"

Pointing to the sky, he continues, "God must have meant that we should meet and share our lives in peace and friendship for the rest of our days on earth."

The priest replies, "I agree with you completely.

This must surely be a sign from God!"

The rabbi is looking at his car and exclaims, "And look at this!

Here's another miracle!

My car is completely demolished, but this bottle of Mogen David wine did not break.

Surely, God wants us to drink this wine and to celebrate our good fortune."

The priest nods in agreement.

The rabbi hands the bottle to the priest, who drinks half the bottle and hands the bottle back to the rabbi.

The rabbi takes the bottle and immediately puts the cap on, then hands it back to the priest.

The priest, baffled, asks, "Aren't you having any, Rabbi?"

The rabbi replies, "Nah... I think I'll wait for the police."

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

2005-09-25T16:22:00.000+08:00

this is soo funny the title has to be HAHAHAHAHA..

lets say.. i was talking to our good fren mandeep... KAUR GILL.. yes she is female.. hehe.. k so msn la.. and this was the convo... of cause i edited it and only posted the funny parts.. i mean you dont really wanna read bout us talking bout yr aunty...

! inferiority complex` ! says:

wei check this fakrirkrkrkrkring funny to the max

! inferiority complex` ! says:

yes im sure you thot it was a virus.. wud it help if i named the file virus??

Clawz' says:

wtf its 1kb only?

! inferiority complex` ! says:

ITS A DAMN .txt file la.. if it gets bigger than 1 kb den you shud be liek wtf

Clawz' says:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

! would it help if i named the file virus.exe? ! says:

heeh

! would it help if i named the file virus.exe? ! says:

cool rite.. jews damn smart wei hahaahah

Clawz' says:

LOLZ

Clawz' says:

smart bitch

! would it help if i named the file virus.exe? ! says:

noo smart ME

! would it help if i named the file virus.exe? ! says:

Clawz' says:

yea yea

Clawz' says:

wtv

! would it help if i named the file virus.exe? ! says:

k la.. i know i suck rite. k la.. bye....

Clawz' says:

oih!

Clawz' says:

u dun suck laaa

! would it help if i named the file virus.exe? ! says:

nu dont lie you just said that

! would it help if i named the file virus.exe? ! says:

or more like implied it

Clawz' says:

cheh

Clawz' says:

jeez u sound like a looser i know

Clawz' says:

dont drop so low maan

! would it help if i named the file virus.exe? ! says:

ahahahaah serious shit whu azat?

end of part one..

part two..

! would it help if i named the file virus.exe? ! says:

so wheres the taylors babes you promised me

Clawz' says:

all not online ler

! would it help if i named the file virus.exe? ! says:

ayiooh yea lor sunday afternoon.all having sex la ..lol

! would it help if i named the file virus.exe? ! says:

.. hmm cept you ... yr talking to this ugly fat keling..

Clawz' says:

all studying physixLAH

! would it help if i named the file virus.exe? ! says:

oh yes forgot heh

end of part two...

part three..

! Ayioh so tired.. on that matter, im always tired rite.. ! says:

holy shit wei i just found some random bitch with like 39 pics on frenster..

! Ayioh so tired.. on that matter, im always tired rite.. ! says:

wtf wei

Clawz' says:

i no sum1 wit 45

! Ayioh so tired.. on that matter, im always tired rite.. ! says:

just to get back at friendster.. should i post all 580 pics from my collection?

! Ayioh so tired.. on that matter, im always tired rite.. ! says:

LOL

Clawz' says:

go ahed

Clawz' says:

this one i want to tengokl

! Ayioh so tired.. on that matter, im always tired rite.. ! says:

lol only 50 max rite

Clawz' says:

eh i got an idea

! Ayioh so tired.. on that matter, im always tired rite.. ! says:

apa

Clawz' says:

get 21 accounts

! Ayioh so tired.. on that matter, im always tired rite.. ! says:

LOL.. yes yes i know you have a calculator therere.. dont tyry to make me think you are some sort of super genius ok

! Ayioh so tired.. on that matter, im always tired rite.. ! says:

Clawz' says:

wtf?

! Ayioh so tired.. on that matter, im always tired rite.. ! says:

k nvm

! Ayioh so tired.. on that matter, im always tired rite.. ! says:

lol

Clawz' says:

my idea

! Ayioh so tired.. on that matter, im always tired rite.. ! says:

21 times 50

Clawz' says:

! Ayioh so tired.. on that matter, im always tired rite.. ! says:

1050

! Ayioh so tired.. on that matter, im always tired rite.. ! says:

wtf

Clawz' says:

wudn't it be fun to videotape all d stupid cock u and shaf do?

Clawz' says:

lolz

Clawz' says:

12 accounts

Clawz' says:

sorry

Clawz' says:

upside down

! Ayioh so tired.. on that matter, im always tired rite.. ! says:

HAHAHAH kayyyzzyzyzy

! Ayioh so tired.. on that matter, im always tired rite.. ! says:

of course it wud be fun then sell the vids to starworld and we shall live of royaltiesfor teh rest of our sex filled lives..

Clawz' says:

n i want commission so i can live my life in peace too

Clawz' says:

eh where u dwnload songs ah?

! Ayioh so tired.. on that matter, im always tired rite.. ! says:

no you cant .. you cant live in peace if you have me and shaf ere [ising you off?

! Ayioh so tired.. on that matter, im always tired rite.. ! says:

lol

! Ayioh so tired.. on that matter, im always tired rite.. ! says:

ares

! Ayioh so tired.. on that matter, im always tired rite.. ! says:

i use ARES

! Ayioh so tired.. on that matter, im always tired rite.. ! says:

www.ares.com .. WOW whu cuddnt figure taht out

Clawz' says:

stfu

Clawz' says:

thx

! Ayioh so tired.. on that matter, im always tired rite.. ! says:

k la.. *STUFS

Clawz' says:

i can liv my life in peace despite u two... not that u bug my life so much...im mandeep, not azat...

! Ayioh so tired.. on that matter, im always tired rite.. ! says:

ahahahaahahahhahahahaahah

! Ayioh so tired.. on that matter, im always tired rite.. ! says:

HAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH

! Ayioh so tired.. on that matter, im always tired rite.. ! says:

OMG statement of teh year weiiiIAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Clawz' says:

the moron probably has a shotgun aimed out fro his balcony or something and camps out there 2 times a week waiting for u ppl

Clawz' says:

lolz!

! Ayioh so tired.. on that matter, im always tired rite.. ! says:

hahah

! Ayioh so tired.. on that matter, im always tired rite.. ! says:

he so fucking insecure mannnnn

! Ayioh so tired.. on that matter, im always tired rite.. ! says:

he was eating with roshan.. and EVERY random gurl that passes by azat goes.. oh you know roshan.. she was good in bed.. WTF WEI

! Ayioh so tired.. on that matter, im always tired rite.. ! says:

he just has to be better than you .. if not he wont lepak with you wan

Clawz' says:

wtf?

Clawz' says:

thats a bit sad....

Clawz' says:

even for yogita

! Ayioh so tired.. on that matter, im always tired rite.. ! says:

VERRYY SAD

! Ayioh so tired.. on that matter, im always tired rite.. ! says:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH

! Ayioh so tired.. on that matter, im always tired rite.. ! says:

AHAHAHAAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHHA

Clawz' says:

LOLZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

! Ayioh so tired.. on that matter, im always tired rite.. ! says:

hooly shit i just have to post this on the blog la

Clawz' says:

HAHAHAAHAHA

Clawz' says:

ill check d blog then

! Ayioh so tired.. on that matter, im always tired rite.. ! says:

aite

! Ayioh so tired.. on that matter, im always tired rite.. ! says:

ill tell you when its up

oh well.. even mandeep has seen the light... and omg wei this is gonna be my first post with big font cos im too lazy to change.. on second thot.. no la.. im not too lazy .. so FUCK YOU.. YOU INDIAN NATAN

WTF WEI?!

2005-09-24T18:58:00.000+08:00

wtf wei?!

all these comments by annonymous bastards suck wei.. im ere expecting some honest comments bout my funny shit.. and somehow those who leave this honest comments just so seem to insult me in the process... thanks guys i really enjoy the insults.. no i really do... it makes yr aunty go round and round and rouuuuundddd... hehe my version of it makes the world go round i just sort of aunty-rized it.. anyways.. long time i nvr post any of those super funny - mr.iwahara cant do type- really funny stories based on nothing but just makes you luff yr arse off rite.. so umm i come back from church later after an evening escape with the big G himself.. yeah ya'll know who im talking about mr J to the E to the S to the U to the S. jee sususususus .. k i guess i just sort of insulted him in a disrespectful type of way.. damn now he gonna make tak malu TM aka telekom malaysia fuck up my dsl fer a few hrs .. damn.. lol.. k laters~~~

smallllll fonttt

2005-09-17T16:38:00.000+08:00

ahahaha i can post it small font its soo much cooler than yr big font so you can go die..

AZATTT ROXXXXORS BECAUSE WHEN WE ALL HAVE OUR PRELUDEs, EVOs, RX-7s AND WHATEVER SUPERFAST CAR WE MAY HAVE HE WILL STILL BE USING HIS OWN MAMAS CAR... WHICH OF COZ THANKS TO HIS ULTIMATE DRIVING SKILLS WUD HAVE CRASHED MILLIONS OF TIMES.

Typical Indian

2005-09-11T22:35:00.000+08:00

Notice how everytime I post anything Mr. Shin``` has to change it to small font?

Typical Panekote.

MY NAME IS AZATTTT AND I ROXXXXXXXXXORS BECAUSE I HAVE MY OWN MAMAS CAR.

Life is sooo mean to me..

2005-09-11T08:47:00.000+08:00

oh my gawdd.. i sooo hate my life... like everyybody at school hates me... they think im a slut.. like oh my god.. why would they think of me like that?! .. just last night i posted on how i had sex with like jeremy, dan, max, max's brother, paul, john, timothy, and timothy's dog at the party... and now everyone is like omg calling me a SLUT?!?!?! WHY? and today the teacher called my mom and asked to come for a PTA meeting.. like oh my life is sooo ruined.. now mommy wont buy me those implants.. and then then i took my dawwgiee to the vet and that damn bitch pissed on my new top in the car.. ahhhh im soo ruined the world hates me.. soon my mom is gonna hate me.. omgg... omg... *runs around prancing like a bitch* umm im currently listening to ryan cabrerra's latest single - im a gay homo bitch. oh thats suchh a nice song.. really speaks to my heart.. omg.. and today.. lizzie she didnt talk to me today.. oh my god!! thats sooo the last straw.. im gonna pull her hair tomorrow....

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

ayioh cannot pretend to be stupid american teenager anymore lol....
aha shaf is stupid, ppl like my posts better OKAY and only assholes like you get duped by microsoft i've been using service pack 2 forever and nothing wrong orso... so ppl dont worry please continue sucking up to microsoft and buy windows (helluva) eXPrience service pack 2 super security (flaws). ok ok.. you can buy ori wan oni rm 988 << got two 8 mah sure good luck wan... or you can buy the pasar malam wan oni rm 10 << got no 8 la.. so no good luck wan la.. so be chinese and make the wiser desicion.

kk the moment of truth has arrived...

here is..

my (bang back) comments on shaf's pakistani post.

1. you love to write? my 6 yr old sister write better shit than you la ok. you writer my ass you've just been wasting 1 year of yr fucking lifeless life.
2. and hey EXCUUSE ME the mcds delivery guy, his only job is to deliver choco top and trash all the ramli stalls.. cos they are competition. he doesnt race with the domino's guy.. that fella races with the pizza hut guy.
3. why ppl think im like that one??? - on that matter yes shaf i do think yr a dumb gay ass worse than jia FREAK.. and maybe juuuust mayybeeee cos you suggest it GENIUS.
4. NO.. i repeat NO IM NOT A HYPOCRITE although i mite just be the one holding a heineken and tell you dont drink it gives you a pot belly and taman jaya cant really support all the beer drinkers is they wanted to jog that belly off.
5. and BY THE WAY i only have 48 msn contacts and 50-something friendster real life FRIENDS who i KNOW..okay and i dont have a myspace and hi5 accounts so YES IM COOL and totally HIP!.. im pimping!..

oh yeah btw i agree on the personal rambling wan la.. thats why wei all this stoooooopid beeches i tell you talk cock oni online whuu the hell gives a flying fuck bout yr aunty getting breast implants la go tell the father in fatimah la... dont post it online. and on the dont complain that ppl are judging you.. ahem *koff koff*.. ahem .. yee san.. ahem *koff koff*.. *clears throat*.. ahem.. ally.. *koff* mich..*koff koff* uhuh.. hit em with a little ghetto gospel.. those who wish to follow me... bla bla.. wtf you may ask? sorry ghetto gosple just started playing on winamp haha.

so hows yr mother doing today? support the government campaign say tak nak to tak nak campaign.. and go tell yr parents how MUCH you love them support the governments keluarga mesra keluarga bahagia campaign, although if you do that yr parents will prolly think yr high on weed and send you to see a shrink in singapore.

ok la enuff sed bout how much the world hates me.. bye bye you sonnouvaas

Seems This Is Turning Into A Blog

2005-09-08T15:54:00.000+08:00

YAW MADDER SO FETTT
DAAAAATTT WHEN SHE JUMP FOR JOYYYYY
SHE GOD STAK....

OK TANKEW

After a long hiatus, I've decided to revisit this blog in the wee hours of the night. Looking for a reason to justify this post, I thought to myself "Just say long time never post laaaa.." . But we both (or the three of us :O ) know that I love to write.... I just think it's sissified to talk about your daily ramblings/activities/complaints/love-worries on a blog that should act as a personal JOURNAL that NO ONE should be reading. Don't complain that people are judging you. You are inadvertantly putting yourself on trial by posting your sorrows for the world to see.

So ANYWAY, have you ever thought that MAYBE, MAYBEEEEE other people don't give a rats-ass whether you like him/her or not? Whether ppl give a fuck about what assignments and course work you have to do? Whether the bank was open today or not? Or whether McD's didn't have Choc-Top topping because the rempit supply boy crashed after he decided to race the Dominoes Delivery Guy?

(Actually I would like to see what happened to the McD's Rempit x ] )

I'm tired of people asking "Why they think I'm like that one???"
Maybe because your posts suggest it GENIUS.

The inner-most sanctums of your thoughts should be kept in your head to cherish forever or to hopefully be long forgotten after a good nights rest.

EVERYONE IS A HYPOCRITE

I'd like everyone to ponder that sentence for a moment...
Can you think of an incident where you go against your ideals out of habit?

Do you have friends that belittle other friends saying "That cheebye never let me sit down in front of his PC in his house" but they do the same thing in theirs?

Got friends that say "WEH MAHAI...you drive so fast for what?You not Fellali driver you know...whats that fellas name ar? Cristiano Ronaldo izzit?" and they drive EVEN MORE chibai than you?

Know anyone that holds a Carlsberg and tells you "Dei macha...Beer gives you potbelly la dei...".

I on the other hand, am being a hypocrite myself..
I'm basically frustrated at people complaining about being prejudged after other people read their blog. Blogspot really made the world a better place. The thing is you didn't need a blog to get prejudged. People and society as a whole were designed to be bastards. It's hard to throw a smile and be nice but jeering and animosity comes naturally. I for one have had experiences of false hatred becoming a full fledged bitter feeling of hostility. And there has never been any clear reason. If we look back at it, I can confidently say that all that happened was, we didnt talk to each other on that day.....Lo and behold, you have all the makings of a 180° turn on that thing you call friendship.

In the midst of my frustration, I have thus become a hypocrite.
But then again, we all are in a certain way. If you think you're not....Then God be with you, you naive sonofabitch...HAHA : ]

Thus the lesson of today's post....

IF YOU'RE UNHAPPY THAT PEOPLE JUDGE YOU BASED ON YOUR BLOG :

A: Get New Friends.
B: Stop Posting Shit.
C: Don't Give A Fuck.
D: All Of The Above Would Do Fucking GREAT For Me.

Since I am in the hypocrite mood, I've decided that I will bitch about my own life for awhile.

HEYHEY ~~
I won't bitch so serious one...
Just a very recent happening and very very integral part of our lives.
(You see... at least my bitchings got relevance to your lives...)

WINDOWS XP

Did you know that XP was the XP in eXPerience?
Well let me tell you my eXPerience with this little piece of shit called Service Pack 2.

A month ago, my pc finally caved in to the registry screwups caused by the lack of updating and the vulnerability of Windows Service Pack 1 (service pack shall thus be referred to as SP from now on). The reason was simple...They want all us assholes to stop using SP1 and "upgrade" to SP2, so they make the updates for SP1 really scarce and unless you are blind you will notice that your PC runs at a more exhausted rate than usual. The reason? = Lack of updates lead to more compromises in security lead to more viruses and worms coming in lead to your PC going to hell because your RAM decided to go first. SOMEHOW...my Norton Antivirus 2005 Edition seemed to be in on it with Microsoft as well. No Virus definition updates and stagnant activity lead to totally no protection for my 24/7 connected PC. Thus the inevitable happened.

After putting it off for a long time, I finally got my shit together and decided to get things back into action. I went to the friendly IT Floor MidValley Software shop and purchased a Windows XP SP2 Advanced Security Edition Cetak Rompak CD. Advanced Securities my ass. The PC ran fine when it was initially installed, because it had never been online. But once I decided to update my windows was when the shit started to happen.

Windows SP2 has an authenticity check that determines whether you are using pirated shit or not. And if it comes to the conclusion that you are using pirated software, they ban you from updating your Windows XP. After some exploring and clicking here and there, I come to a screen which says that I can use this "FREE" updating that even the non authenticated copies of Windows can use... STUPIDLY i click further to download the "updates" .

After that my PC basically became the most dysfunctional thing you could think of (worse than your mother :O or your girlfriend XD ). Of the 30 programs I have installed, I can use a grand total of 4. I can no longer use the task manager to stop processes' and some executables duplicate themselves and linger around my active programs wasting my RAM usage. Not only is my idle CPU usage higher than SP1 but I can't get rid of a lot of erroneous processes' that I really don't need active all the time. And since I updated, there has not been one time where I can shut down the PC normally. Shutting down for me now is basically jamming the CPU's power button till it closes.

So boys and girls...If you can, keep your SP1 close to your heart...because SP2 was designed to lash out at us...Malaysians...........................The Goddamn Pirates.

Anyway, in true Stoopid-People fashion...I will sign off with a joke..
Look forward (or don't) [i don't give a shit = p ] to my next emo in the morning session where I will most probably be bitching about how everyone has 250 contacts on MSN, 500 on MySpace, 7 Million in Friendster and 2 Gay Couples on Hi5 and how you only talk to your mother online.

Signing off ~

During a Papal audience, a business man approached the Pope and made this offer: Change the last line of the Lord's prayer from "give us this day our daily bread" to "give us this day our daily chicken." and KFC will donate 10 million dollars to Catholic charities. The Pope declined. 2 weeks later the man approached the Pope again. This time with a 50 million dollar offer. Again the Pope declined. A month later the man offers 100 million, this time the Pope accepts. At a meeting of the Cardinals, The Pope announces his decision in the good news/bad news format. The good news is... that we have 100 million dollars for "charities". The bad news is that we lost our Gardenia sponsorship!

TSB

2005-09-03T11:40:00.000+08:00

Telawi Street Bistro
That Sucky Blog
Tamil Sdn Bhd
That Sexy Blu (hoolyy sheeet)
Todi Sungguh Bagus
Tentunya Shafeeq Bastet
Those Small Boobies...

see theres alot of crap you can come up with if you just sit, concentrate and put yr 3 braincells to it.

The other day shaf and i decided to go to mc donalds and buy ice cream. so after we walked in insulted the cashier, ordered, insulted the cashier, paid, insulted the cashier for the last time and walked off we passed TSB and saw maya there (okay jia shud be feeling jealous about now) so then we went up to go say hi. shaf was wearing his rempit black khakis, converse shoes, natan spiky belt and a white t-shirt with a natan design. me on the other hand who never planned to go to TSB just wore my discoloured blue three-quarters, a frasers hill t-shirt and white slippers bought at a pasar malam. even dressed like this we had no trouble making our way to the 2nd floor of TSB even the door man didnt stop us. WOW!. so after we sed hi to the hot chick and sat down - waiter came - we sed hi - waiter gave menu - waiter left. so when the waiter came back shaf ordered a frozen margarita with cat piss and me on the other hand because i was driving home and because i wud be home within half hour << not enuff time for the alcohol smell to hilang, so i ordered a hot chocolate. the waiters eyes almost popped out when i ordered a hot chocolate and he went WHAT?!..

so anyway that was the interesting 30 minutes at TSB. the hot choc was good btw.

anyywaysss i duno what else to type wei i actually had a list of farny things i wanted to say but in the process of typing this i forgot half of the farnee things..sorryyyy lols..

stay tuned fer a song.. thought up by usher.. written by usher.. edited by stoopid-people in remembrance of a guy whu suffers from infreority complex..

tata for now

The lifelessness of life...

2005-08-27T22:55:00.000+08:00

! Just as long as I have you, right here by me.. ! says:
how was the reunion dinner wei

! Just as long as I have you, right here by me.. ! says:
fakker ting drew that ah? ( i said refering to kishore's display picture)

fear leads to anger...anger leads to hate...hate leads to suffering...there is much fear in you : young ramdas says:
yea

fear leads to anger...anger leads to hate...hate leads to suffering...there is much fear in you : young ramdas says:
8 ppl came (said kishore's refering to the reunion dinner)

fear leads to anger...anger leads to hate...hate leads to suffering...there is much fear in you : young ramdas says:
hahaha...

! Just as long as I have you, right here by me.. ! says:
hahah whu came

fear leads to anger...anger leads to hate...hate leads to suffering...there is much fear in you : young ramdas says:
me woon suren nav olie azAT iylia kar wai

fear leads to anger...anger leads to hate...hate leads to suffering...there is much fear in you : young ramdas says:
it wasnt a reunion dinner lah

fear leads to anger...anger leads to hate...hate leads to suffering...there is much fear in you : young ramdas says:
i just wanted to go muthus today...so i simply smsd u fellers lah..saying it was reunion dinner so u all will take it seriously

! Just as long as I have you, right here by me.. ! says:
hah azat and iylia were just there when you went rite

fear leads to anger...anger leads to hate...hate leads to suffering...there is much fear in you : young ramdas says:
hAhahaHahAHahahhAa

fear leads to anger...anger leads to hate...hate leads to suffering...there is much fear in you : young ramdas says:
YAH

! Just as long as I have you, right here by me.. ! says:
hahahahahah

! Just as long as I have you, right here by me.. ! says:
lifeless to the MAX wei

fear leads to anger...anger leads to hate...hate leads to suffering...there is much fear in you : young ramdas says:
shaddup... (kishore showing how much an azat lover he is)

fear leads to anger...anger leads to hate...hate leads to suffering...there is much fear in you : young ramdas says:
the beriyani and mutton was gooooooood

! Just as long as I have you, right here by me.. ! says:
hahah DUH

! Just as long as I have you, right here by me.. ! says:
i had...

! Just as long as I have you, right here by me.. ! says:
shit

fear leads to anger...anger leads to hate...hate leads to suffering...there is much fear in you : young ramdas says:
roshans?

fear leads to anger...anger leads to hate...hate leads to suffering...there is much fear in you : young ramdas says:
eyarh...u can imagine how much comes out everyday lah

! Just as long as I have you, right here by me.. ! says:
hahahahahah

! Just as long as I have you, right here by me.. ! says:
plus his moms and his dogs... hey maids too

! Just as long as I have you, right here by me.. ! says:
OMG SISTERRR (roshan's sister)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

last words of wisdom.... get a life...
if you have trouble getting a life contact us, at stooopid-people we help all you lifeless bastards into becoming super cool and totally hip dicks like us ^__^

check out our stoopid-people store we have a wide range of things including Pure Life going for only 50 easy payments of 69 euros.

pure life>>>

Based on a true story...

2005-08-24T21:03:00.000+08:00

Waaazzzzzaaaaaaaa wei!

Today was a very interestng day because i tried to make nasi goreng and it was edible.. like HOOOLYY SHEEEETT OMG...

My family went to Taman Jaya to fuck around, so as my sister was playing the swing and my mom was watching her and my maid.. doing what she does best, acting like a dog with a cactus longed up her backside. So after awhile my father decided it was late and told us that we shud be getting home, this was when my sister ran off found another swing and started swinging. So while my mom and maid was trying to persuade her to go home my dad and me were lepaking on a bench. conversation as follows...

son : so pa why wanna leave so soon its only like 7.45?
dad : son this is taman jaya, after 8 its off limits.
son : (thinking of ghost stories) why dangerous ah?
dad : people should know taman jaya is off limits after 8 pm
son : whyyyyyyy???
dad : because after 8....
son: yes pa?
dad : taman jaya is...
son : yes yes go on
dad : ... a lovers park..
son : O-M-F-G
dad : yes true true.. i grew up here my boy
son : so.. let the lovers lepak la why do we have to leave...
dad : i dont want my kids growing up with the wrong idea in mind.
son : what? that taman jaya is only for lovers after 8?
dad : no.
son : then?
dad : they should grow up knowing they must not disturb the lovers in taman jaya after 8?
son : (disowns dad)

ayiooo didnt turn out right la... not farneee .. urgh..
ey desperate housewives rocks wei..
i still owe someone beck ost..
i did my church bowling tourney poster, took like 2 days but finally finished halelujah?..
changed my cars brakes, so farking keng now brakes..
made nasi goreng..

oh well i am boring wei, i always end you guys off with a joke right. i mean come here to laugh sort of site RIIITEE.. k here goes..

what has a front like a wanna be alfa, back like a wannabe benz, rims like a wannabe bmw, doors like a wannabe mitsubishi, dashboard like a wannabe mazda, and a steering wheel like a wannabe felali? ....youuuu guessed it.... a PROTON.

good nite everyone thank you very much (crowd applauding blu like mad wei )

Untitled [ no we're not simple plan fans - actually we think simple plan is gay ]

2005-08-22T11:12:00.000+08:00

For those of you who have seen the untitled video...
The car crashes... my girlfriend is dying or maybe dead already, but i guess i'll just get out and start singing in the rain... wtf wei.. wtf?! (see kishore i also can use wtf in my blog so you can fuck off)

Secondly OMFG WEI... this seriously WTF WEI kishore got a blog????? now confirm gay edi la...
Oliver hinting kishore is gay >>> http://lotusmamak.blogspot.com
Kishore CONFIRM gay >>> http://xanga.com/ramdaskishore

And since im so bored i decided to do the latest 'IN-THING'... make fun of ppls names... yeah! lets start with me...

D - ...dumb
I - ...INDIAN
N - natan-ish (at times)
E - ever ready to insult you, yr family, yr parents, yr race, and yr... dog?
S - ..hehehe... sexy??? LOL
H - (black like) harindar

S - STUPID
H - Half indian
A - (brain like an) arse
F - faggot
E - (suffers from) Erectile desfunction
E - (suffers from) Erectile desfunction...again
Q - quadraplegeticnessismfegggaishty...yes its a disease that affects about one person per 6
billion population

K - KELING
I - idiot
S - (has a) shitty blog [i hope you see this you dick and (pls) bang me back la]
H - hairy like gorilla
O - only likes hairy guys
R - Roshan is his personal driver
E - sings like.. some animal that begins with E la.. i duno what animal but im sure there is an
animal whose name got E wan and kannot sing wan

(i dun really wanna insult you la oliver i mean yr a nice guy but oh well cant help it)

O - bOrange best guitarist who doesnt believe there shud be like 7 solos in one song
L - Likes to hang out with indians like me lol
I - Initial D fan
V - very gay
E - eager to go out with guys
R - ramasamy look alike

ayiooh bored edi.. ill be like some natans who when they wanna say that they are bored will say i am boring... yes you are. So anyways ppl go check kishore's blog and send hate mails to 45.. or was it 47? maybe 43.. terasek ayioo wait ah must find out his address, wait ah

toot toot
Blu : hello
Roshan : eyy shamala!!
Blu : woi elise shaddap la
Roshan : farkk weii.. so apa mau dowh?
Blu : whats kishore's address ah?
Roshan : tak tau dowh
Blu : fuck you la yr like his driver liddat
Roshan : go fuck yr dog la
Blu : later la gimme his damn address la
Roshan : I DUNNO LAAA
Blu : ayioo chow la

so um hehe send the mail to muthus la kishore shud get it ^_^

Oh well chow ppl i got to go chill out with Jesus now laters...

Of ariels, antennas and astro decoders

2005-08-18T15:27:00.000+08:00

Hello everyone, my name is Shorthand cause yeah i do have a shorthand. No im not tipu-tipu. Those of you who think i tipu-tipu can fuck off and DIE PLEASE GO!! GOOOO!!!!.
heheheh

Anyway yes sorry long time no post farker busy la. Iwahara also gone to Singapore to fuck some SgGirl i.e. Joel.

I heard the story of my fren oriveer. Oriveer like this gal called legion, legion very nice got big boobs, nice ass, big boobs and nice face, big boobs and nicer hair, heheheh i like hair, not down there but up there, heheheh *pisses in his pants*. sorry. I shy shy wan. heheheheh. sorry. hheheeh.

So oriveer like legion, legion stay in a big mansion got high-high tower wan like in repunzel but legion got no long hair like repunzel so she cannot tie her hair and jump down. So oriveer like legion but besides the tall tower challenge there is a MONSTARRRR guarding legion. That MONSTARRRR's name is ariel. This monstarrrr is called ariel because he got 5 ariel sticking out of his body wannnn. 2 ariel hands, 2 ariel legs and one come out his anus howwwleee. The only way to kill this monstarrrr is to plug all his 5 ariel to a astro decoder or another secret forbidden technique which you will be introduced to later, he wil get a 'mama-shock'. A 'mama-shock' is when you got a mama and you shock with her la. simple. So to defeat ariel oriveer did a backthatthangup (background) check on ariel la.. you know to find out his secrets and shit see if he gots skeletons in his closet. So with the help of the ingenious Blu from Face to Ass oriveer hacked FBI, CIA, NSA, NRO, ABCD, EFGOSI, and ZQRPTU servers and got information on ariel. So it seems that ariel was a 91 yr old freak.. I repeat FREAK, who lived in Kathimanidunipplesbaktoo (you have no idea where that is rite, well neither do i) but ariel studied in this institution that is much much nearer to the cool and hip place we live. ariel studied at Taylors. God knows what he studies there but we’ve narrowed the courses down to t-shirts, khakis, slacks and boxers. Through the backthatthangup check oriveer also found out that ariels MAIN NUMBER ONE WITH THE BULLET weakness is…. ANTENNAAAAAAA.

After oriveer planned out his attack and got everything he needed including an antenna, on the darkest night ruled by Indians from brickfields.. oriveer moved in.

As he ran down the hill leading to the tower legion was locked up in. Small figures arose in the horizon. As he closed in those figures took shape and form and oriveer immediately recognized them to be dildos. He pulled out his AK-47.62113 and took them out one after the other, head-shots. As soon as the dildos went down there was an explosion and BOOM BANG BANG TING TANG WALLA WALLA BING BANG… ariel arose through the darkness. oriveer reached in his back pocket and pulled out the ANTENNAAAAAAA. Taking aim and proper stance oriveer pulled the trigger. As fast as he arose, ariel went down because the UHF and VHF missiles from the ANTENNAAAAAAA crippled his whole body and squeezed his ballz so tight they reached his neck. Now with ariel down and dead oriveer ran toward the tower. legion saw him cumming…heheheh ops I mean coming.. she leaned out of the little window in the tower shouting out to oriveer, her big big boobies flying all over the place. oriveer stopped short and went…dayyymnnn.. After he got himself back together oriveer knew he need that ‘thing’ to climb up the tower. That thing which was invented by Face to Ass and lent to oriveer for this mission was …. in all its might and glory… a LADDER. oriveer leaned the ladder on the wall of the tower and began the long fucking fucked up journey to the top. After about 35 years when he did reach the top he climbed in and he and legion embraced and kissed like there was no tomorrow (but technically there was a tomorrow). So after all that mambo jumbo oriveer thought legion how to open the unlocked door that kept her “locked” in the tower, and they ran down the 22365 steps to freedom, hence McDs made freedom fries.

When things calmed down and oriveer was interviewed by Bengz News Network (BNN) his only comment was…. Yooooowww maaathaaa sooowww fat! When she jump forr joy, she got stuck lor. Thank you.

Well thats all of the entertainment for tonight brought to you exclusively by stoopid-people. Owned by two stoopid people, you will find only the stooooopidest things here. Till next time, Goodnight and thank you everyone.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

All characters, names, countries, places and names of things used ARE PURELY FICTIONAL and DOES NOT resemble anyone or anything in real life. If you think it does and you feel insulted, well too bad.

We're all the same

2005-07-23T23:47:00.000+08:00

We're allllll the sameeeeee and colors don't exist..

We'll firstly i would like to take this opportunity to thank a certain internet service provider in malaysia for keeping me without my dsl for this long forcing me to go back to the stone-age ways and use ... dial-up.. thank you 'this certain isp' you have no idea how much i appriciate it.. really i do..

Okay well a msg for our frequent readers - as you read above, because of my umm short-comings i have not been posting anything fer a long time now hence giving mr.iwahara so much time to practically insult me, my family, my race, my underpants, my body parts and my sexual fetishes too which supposedly is fucking a bottle filled with worms... wow..

Oookay moving on to less important topics
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Following the recent rise in the number of illegal immigrants (especially from NEW DELHI) entering our prestigious nation, once again Face to Ass has turned up to help solve this problem, but not forgetting their hidden but well covered up attempt to make a shit load of money in the process. After much wanking and umm meetings and brainstorming Face to Ass decided that the only way to curb this problem is to build a fucking huge wall around our country or better still just pack em up and send em home.

To achieve this Face to Ass decided to send a representative to interview an indian man to find out why the flying fuck do they come to our country of all fucking places to go to i mean theres thailand (cheap whores) or vietnam (even cheaper whores). So an indian was picked to represent the SEVEN of them who came from NEW DELHI. The interview :-

F2A : Hello. Good morning eh mr. umm, say what is your name?
Unknown indian : I is name chapik.
F2A : ahh yes mr.chapik (damn what a fucked up name) ahem no i mean its cool. so how are you mr.chapik?
Chapik : you are fine
F2A : Yes i'm fine what about you?, how are YOU?
Chapik : yes that is i say you are fine
F2A : you are fine?
Chapik : YES I FINE!
F2A : no no chill dude yeah you cool. So mr.Chapik when you came to our country, did you come alone or with your family?
Chapik : I with family is coming
F2A : How did you and your family come to our country?
Chapik : we all sit in a big box and come. Half the way the box got hole my sister fell out. Bless her soul may she be eaten by a shark.
F2A : ahh cool so you came with you family. Say how many peeps are there in your family
Chapik : 500 millions
F2A : SAY WHAT?!
Chapik : yes 500 millions
F2A : Whoa 500 million in a single family? daymn.. that means yr parents like bang like... daymn..
Chapik : no no my parents never bang me
F2A : good
Chapik : is you gots some tea i may have some?
F2A : yes sir no worries (Hey Kimberly may we have some tea in here for the indian). okay mr.Chapik your tea will be here in a minute. So please tell me how many brothers and sisters do you have?
Chapik : i have one brother and 3 sisters.
F2A : buuuut you just said you have 500 million family members? sorry the numbers just dont add up.
Chapik : nonono you is not understand me. I have 7 people in family my, but i say 500 million because that all my country man and woman. you seeing in my country everyone black, all so black, mother fucking black so it is pretty hard you is know to see different people they all look same.
F2A : damn thats bad... and kinda sad
Chapik : yes i very sad. That time got black-out, you knowing black-out? no light. fuck that time i is bang my chicken, i thinks its my sister. no light i never see all black.
F2A : You banged your chicken? wtf?
Chapik : what the fuck? the fuck is a term using to say .. sex you know bang!
F2A : Yes i know what fuck is! There heres yr tea (throws it at his face)
Chapik : why that was hot and sizzlinging.
F2A : okay lets get back to the interview.
Chapik : yes
F2A : How old are you?
Chapik : umm 8 + 1
F2A : 9?
Chapik : no no 18.
F2A : oh okay 18 years old.
Chapik : no i is not old i young.
F2A : okay mr.Chapik what is yr father?
Chapik : he is a man
F2A : nonono i mean what does he do for a living
Chapik : ooooh appadiamma i am sorry i get you wrong. my daddy is a liar
F2A : a liar?
Chapik : oh sorry my humble sorrys again i meaning to say my father is lawyer
F2A : ahhh okay. Your father being a lawyer i'm sure he's pretty well to do in india, why did you ship yourself in a box to our country?
Chapik : No my father never do it well, my mother always complaining.
F2A : ookay please lets keep family matters within the family aite.
Chapik : i dont understand you.
F2A : thats okay idiot. What i said was yr daddy must be rich, why then did you come to our country?
Chapik : ooooh apadithanva, no my father no rich. He go court only represent gays and homosexuals so they usually paying him with a ass-fuck so family no get money only daddy happy we no happy.
F2A : okay so you came to our country to earn a living?
Chapik : no i dont need living im alive already.
F2A : gawd.... so what is your mother tongue
Chapik : it is pink, nice pink and fleshy.
F2A : Has anyone ever told you how stupid you are?
Chapik : No i is the smartest most in my place
F2A : what a bunch of idiots.. the race with the biggest majority in our country is begining to look smart. What does your mom do for a living?
Chapik : She no work.
F2A : okay. We'll we've been talking cock for sometime now i guess i should ask you the questions i was supposed to ask you.
Chapik : cock cock cock. I have chicken in my house.
F2A : Yeah you were telling us how you fucked it.
Chapik : my chicken we no feed, it never move same sit for long long time.
F2A : is it dead?
Chapik : no cant be i fuck it daily.
F2A : you are one amazing man. So question one why did you come to our country?
Chapik : cheap whores
F2A : you came here for cheap whores? shouldn't you have gone to thailand or vietnam or if your looking for some class go to the land of the rising sun or something.
Chapik : thai-what?
F2A : you mean you don't know about thailand?
Chapik : thailand? what is that? can eat?
F2A : oh my god. so you came here all the way just for a cheap fuck? you and all your 500 million family members?
Chapik : yes that is right they all come for fuck. You see they all stil virgin pity them. You seeing virginity is not dignity, its just lack of opportunity [STATEMENT COPYRIGHT HELD BY OWNERS OF THIS WEBSITE]
F2A : how did your english suddenly become so good?
Chapik : I don't know i reading that line in book i just speaks.
F2A : okay. Well Mr.Chapik you need a fuck and i need you out of my country.
Chapik : yes can you help fuck me?
F2A : no not really, i cant help with that. but here's my offer you and your 500 million losers. Pay me 1000 bux each and i will show you the way to heaven.
Chapik : But i don't want to go to heaven.
F2A : No i mean heaven as in thailand. You know thailand-heaven, heaven-thai, thai..hea.. sigh nevermind.
Chapik : you have no mind?
F2A : Dude just shut it. okay see i have this thing, its called a map it will guide you to thailand. Now each of you pay me 1000 bux for this map and you can walk to thailand its pretty near.
Chapik : (with eyes wide open) r-r-eeaalllyyyy. i so love you thank you thank you please letting me kisses your hand.
F2A : no its okay man its cool chill...
Chapik : Thank you again, thank you my whole family thank you
F2A : hahah okay man its okay. So well i guess its solved. Umm make your way outside and we'll distribute the maps.
Chapik : yes thanks here have my chicken as a present.
F2A : holy shit no!.. its okay man you and keep yr chicken.
Chapik : okay thank you again byeee
F2A : aite man bye

Chapik walks off smiling and singing appadi podu podu assathi podu kannale appadi podu podu... and..our interviewer is still pulling himslef together wondering how he talked to such a stupid person for so long.

Once again Face to Ass has solved a major problem in our nation. The 7 man family of Chapik is on their way to thailand. After hiding for so long in Stepping Stones home in seputeh Face to Ass is proud to lead Chapik's family out of misery and on to a cheap fuck. Also not forgetting the ammount of money Face to Ass made out of idiots from Delhi.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

All characters, names, countires, places and names of things used ARE PURELY FICTIONAL and DOES NOT resemble anyone or anything in real life. If it does and you feel insulted, well too bad.

Malaysia's National Excuses

2005-07-21T04:49:00.000+08:00

NATIONAL EXCUSE FOR HAIR LOSS:
Maggi Mee.

NATIONAL EXCUSE FOR BEING LATE:
Traffic Jam.

NATIONAL CONDOM:
None. Most Malaysians still feel embarrassed buying condoms. So they rushed into a 7-11, hurriedly grab the nearest pack,any pack, pay and leave before the cashier can even blink an eye.

NATIONAL FRUIT FOR INDUCING MENSTRUATION:
Pineapple.

NATIONAL APHRODISIAC DRINK:
Stout. Many swear by it. But after a few pints they start swearing at everything...

NATIONAL FAKE ILLNESS FOR GETTING MC (MEN):
Food Poisoning.

NATIONAL FAKE ILLNESS FOR GETTING MC (WOMEN):
Menstrual Pain.

NATIONAL EXCUSES GIVEN BY WOMEN WHEN REFUSING SEX:
Headache, kids not asleep, maid not asleep, mother-in-law around, early appointment, food not digested yet, aircond not cold enough, aircond too cold, nail polish not dry yet, forgot to take the pill, sleepy, stomach cramps, period, haven't remove make-up, haven't shower, no water supply, going to watch "Desperate Housewives", depressed, no mood, etc...

NATIONAL EXCUSES GIVEN BY MEN WHEN REFUSING SEX:
None.

NATIONAL CURE FOR HEADACHES:
Panadol. The "cure for all". If it fails we have another secret weapon; Tiger Balm.

NATIONAL CURE FOR DIZZINESS:
Minyak Angin Cap Kapak.

NATIONAL CAUSE OF DIZZINESS (FOR YUPPIES):
Happy Hours.

NATIONAL INSTANT CURE FOR DIZZINESS (FOR YUPPIES):
The sight of a police road block.

NATIONAL RUBBISH DUMP:
Anywhere. As long as it is not your house.

NATIONAL MOST MIS-PRONOUNCED NAME:
Carrefour. Sometimes even pronounced as Carry 4! On second thought, why bother pronouncing stupid French brands like Peugeot, Renault or Citroen correctly. I think it sounds better, when the local mechanics say "Pew Jeot". When I was in school, Milo was always 'Mee Lo', now that I'm older, I say "My Lo". So don't be embarassed saying "Carry 4" when the Mat Sallehs shamelessly pronounce orang utan as "rangatan".

Condolences

2005-07-20T16:39:00.000+08:00

This is Shinsen` >>

<< This is..er..was his only friend.

Another sob story brought to you by stoopid-people.

R.I.P Mr. Fishy

BREAKING NEWS

2005-07-13T01:09:00.000+08:00

This story ran on News Strait Times on Thursday, June 2, 2005 12:48 AM GMT
Edited By Rose Ismail

BOY HIT FOR NOT SHARING UNDERWEAR

Bandar Sunway Parents teach their children that it's nice to share.

So when a 18-year-old boy refused to share his underwear with his sister and her friends, he ended up being beaten by his parents, police said. A 69-year-old woman who came to the boy's aid was also beaten, police said.

Daerah Subang police said they have completed the investigation into the May 14th incident and have forwarded the information to prosecutors for review of possible charges.

Police said the incident occurred at a home in Taman Manja where the boy's grandparents live. The boy told police he received a call from his sister who asked if her friends could wear his underwear because they jumped in the mining pool.

The boy told his sister he didn't want anyone else wearing his underwear, and police said the boy went to his nearby home, removed all his underwear and took it to his grandparents' home.

Police said the boy's mother called a short time later and demanded he return home. He agreed to return once he finished eating. But police said his parents arrived a few minutes later, and the mother was enraged because the boy wouldn't share his underwear and didn't return home immediately.

Police said they were told the mother attempted to physically remove the boy, at which time the 69-year-old woman grabbed the boy so he couldn't be taken away.

Police said the mother then slapped the woman, and the father hit the boy. The woman tried to call police, but was restrained by the father, police said. Both parents left after the grandfather stepped in, police said.

Police said the mother admitted striking the woman, but said her own hair was pulled first. The father admitted hitting the boy, but said it was because the boy used profanity, police said.

The 69-year-old woman has issued an RM1,000,000 legal lawsuit against the 18-year-old boy's mother on the claim that the slap indented her wisdom tooth further driving it into her nasal passage causing severe hemorrhaging to her mouth and nose.

The boy has then since been taken to the Montford Boys Remedial School to start his primary education once again as punishment for the profanity he has used against his own father. The boy comments "aiyoh...waart de pahrk men...i oledi noe haw 2 counting..".

The boy's sister and friends are still in the mining pool.

You're an indian and you don't know where you belong?

2005-07-11T14:14:00.000+08:00

Statistics have been compiled, research has beenconducted, relatives have been consulted, the gossip aunties (their big hips clad in colourful andbright goldensarees) have actually, for ONCE agreed.
We present to you the characteristics that classifythe THREE majorIndian groups (or perhaps, castes?) that exist in Malaysia. The REGULARs, HIP-HOPPERs & MACHAs)

REGULAR
Definition: Comprises a mere 7-10 % of the total population of Indians in Malaysia. Found in well-developed parts of the cities spread throughout the peninsular.(none have been found in Sabah & Sarawak as yet)

Characteristics include:
1. Speaks English as their 1st language.
2. Do not know how to (or just dont) speak their mother tongue.
3. Prefer to identify themselves by sub-group ratherthan the plainIndian (ie-malayalee, Ceylonese, telugu, sikh,north indian etc).
4. Uses the internet more than the other 2 groups combined.
5. Swears off, criticises and ridicules those who watch tamil/hindi movies and/or dramas.
6. Instead, watches the OC, MTV and otherAmerican sitcoms.
7. Thinks that the REGULAR group is way larger than it actually is and constantly makes fun of the other groups, in particular the MACHA group.Why? Because it's fun.
8. Aspires to be a doctor. Those who do medicine will eventually do so at UK/Australia, but will normally end up taking more than the required six years to complete the degree due to excessive failure.
9. Despises Samy Vellu. Recent studies have shown that there is a growing splinter group within the REGULARs knows as the IPWTTANI (IndianPeople Who Think They AreNotIndians). This growing sub-group is considered the elitist by some and is found to make the occasional statements like "Iwish I were in the UK" and/or "This never happened when I was studying in Australia". They often speak in unidentifiable accents. The women/men of this group also prefer to date white men/women from foreign countries with the excuse that local men/women "just don't understand me". Many secretly desire to be taken away to live in aBollywood film with a happily-ever-after ending.

THE HIP-HOPPERS
Definition: The 2nd major group of Indians, the HIP-HOPPERS comprises about 20-30% of the population of Indians. Normally living in urban areas of cities, theHIP-HOPPERS, as their name suggests, can never be found where they actually come from, but rather in clubs, bars, pubs etc. Many secretly desire to be like the REGULARS but just don't make the cut.

Characteristics include:
1. TRY to speak English as their 1st language.
2. Their actual 1st language is Tamil.
3. Openly desire to be blacks (waddap dawg?)
4. Hair not in original colour
5. Have unknown hand movements and slangs that are supposedly cool that supposedly go well together with their normal attire of FUBU jerseys and baggy jeans (that are more often than not bought in PetalingStreet/ChowKit)
6. Are famously known to shorten their names to suit their lifestyles(ie. Sam, for Muthusamy and Amber for Ambikadevy)
7. Large quantities (almost all) found in JalanTelawi of Bangsar(though, to be fair, manyREGULAR groups are found here too)
8. Parents want them to be doctors. Many end up studying medicine inRussia/Ukraine because they refuse to go to India and cannot affordUK/Australia. Those who go to India may eventually switch camps to the MACHA group.
9. Despises Samy Vellu.
The HIP-HOPPERS major claim to fame is driving out all the REGULARs(Malay, Chinese & Indian) and the white expatriates from Bangsar by large quantities, so much so that they can now call Bangsar "home".

The last and largest group of Indians in the country comes from theMACHA group. Probably themost famous group, it is so well known that mostMalaysians think ALL Indians are from the MACHA group. Comprising nearly 70% of the Indian population in M'sia, the MACHAS can be found in urban parts of the cities, and also in estates.

Characteristics include:
1. Speaks Tamil as their 1st language
2. Sees Tamil Nadu/Madras (India) as the place to be.
3. Astro at home is hardwired to Astro Vaanavil.
4. Worship Bollywood films. The men openly desire to be like Rajnikanth or their favourite Indian star.
5. A night-out will have to include a stop at any Indian shop in Brickfields. The shopping haven will have to be Jalan Masjid India.
6. Know all the Tamil songs by heart and has never heard of Hitz.FM
7. For men, outfit is never complete without a gold chain. Women prefer to spend their life-savings on gold jewelry and gaudy sarees.
8. Half of them aspire to be doctors, the other half; their parents want them to be doctors. Thebright ones become the pride of all Indians in the country when they enter UM for medicine, the less fortunate go to AIMST. Many more attain paradise and have their dreams come true when allowed to go off toIndia(most of the time Manipal) to do medicine. Most just drop-out of schooland contribute to social-problem areas in the country.
9. Loves Samy Vellu.

So, which group do YOU belong to? ;-)

As the second bang for SHAFEEQ for that post below the post blow this
SHAFEEQ comes from the third group only because theres no option four (which of course he worse than 3)

stoopid-people is doing our part in society by informing everyone about the dangers of sex slavery

2005-07-05T23:50:00.000+08:00

The (sad) story of SHAFEEQ FARUQI

"I can get you a nice job as a secretary in the West," or "I'll pay for a good education abroad" or more bluntly SHAFEEQ simply accepted the offer open-handedly. This was the method sex slave trafficers used to get their prey, SHAFEEQ. SHAFEEQ had little to no clue of the life of physical and psychological abuse that awaits him.

Recent statistics show that four million people around the world are victims of people trafficking, this figure includes 300 000 women from Eastern Europe and one boy from seputeh called SHAFEEQ. Women trafficking is a lucrative business with an estimated turnover of at least 15 billion Ringgit on a yearly basis. Trafficking of women and girls and boys for the sex industry is not a new phenomenon, its quite old, but it has increased enormously in Bangsar since the fall of communism. Women and girls and boys from rural areas, like seputeh, small cities, like seputeh, and orphanages, like the one Lengkungan Jenarom are particularly vulnerable to these practises as their poor prospects make job offers and studies abroad too attractive to turn down.

Face to Ass is a non-governmental organization set up by BLU a man committed to educating the vulnerable groups in the Bangsar society on sex trafficking, as well as to show SHAFEEQ how to achieve his dreams, and where and how to get help in achieving his goal of achieving multiple anal orgasms. Face to Ass initiated an idea to make SHAFEEQ’S story into a film which will help to educate SHAFEEQ on sex slavery and trafficking. Another aim of the film is to just fucking make money, and oh yeah also to show society that victims of constitutional prostitution are not to be blamed for their destiny. Many of the statistics show that most young girls and boys in the sex industry have gladly agreed to be whores. With the financial support of mobile phone operator Telekom and under the supervision of KING KONG who was the scriptwriter and director for this project, SHAFEEQ’s journey is now a blockbuster movie!

SHAFEEQ’S Journey

The film, SHAFEEQ’S jorney, is about a boy who was abandoned by his mother when he was very little. At the age of thirteen BLU being utterly kind hearted wanted to adopt him. It was a dream come true for SHAFEEQ because he knew his new guardian will be able to afford skin-head gigolos for him. But little did he know that his brand new so-called guardian’s sole concern was to NOT get him into the sex trade. Soon after his adoption SHAFEEQ was given 10 000 Ringgit by BLU, trafficked out of the country, to get him away from sex slavery but somehow he finally ended up in Amsterdam where he was beaten and raped every single day. He was offered to rich old men and was forced to have sex up-a-de-bum at least 15 times a day. He was deprived of all his dignity, hopes and dreams. SHAFEEQ tried to escape a number of times, but was stupid enough to get caught every damn time.

After six months of torture and using his three brain cells he decided that there was no other way to free himself other than to clog up his ass hole so he couldn’t be fucked up-a-de-bum anymore and wouldn’t be of anymore use to the brothel. He jumped from a window of the building he had been locked in aiming to land on a stick on the ground hoping it would go up-a-HIS-bum and clog his anus. He miraculously survived the fall and was taken to hospital and after that to the police. A short investigation held by the authorities resulted in nothing, since neither the pimps, nor the so-called guardian was found. SHAFEEQ was brought back to Bangsar and is now, at the tender age of 14, trying to overcome the wonderful experiences of constitutional prostitution with the help of a non-governmental organisation, Face to ass. The film premieres on March 21st with this dated being significant in the sense it is somewhere around the same date as SHAFEEQ’S real birth date.

The cycle of SHAFEEQ’S abuse.

The first aim of the pimps and sex slave traffickers is to put SHAFEEQ in extreme survival conditions. The psychological defence mechanism and the ass is under attack. In the same way a fuse blows in order to prevent the whole installation from burning, in a life or death situation a person "switches off" and concentrates only on survival and anal sex too in SHAFEEQ’S case. They pay a high price for this in terms of psychological trauma. The perpetrators use this to force SHAFEEQ to obey them absolutely, and to become a whore. The second phase is physical exhaustion and anal exhaustion. The system of manipulations includes not giving the victim any opportunity to rest, 24-7 constant up-a-de-bum - no possibility to remain alone by himself and to be able to soothe his ass, think about his ass, to consider the shape of his ass, to recover from the days up-a-de-bum and to start planning for tomorrows up-a-de-bum. A 20-hour working day brings big profits, but it also serves the purpose of "bending" SHAFEEQ’S psyche. The third phase is total control and isolation. SHAFEEQ is isolated from the outside world, he is forbidden to communicate with other people except for the skin-heads and he is strictly observed. SHAFEEQ lives and works in the same place. One cannot suppress the need for communication, but having communication only with the perpetrator, SHAFEEQ starts to perceive twisted information about the world and about himself. The message is only one - the life of SHAFEEQ is of no value, only his ass is worth 5 cents. Of course he is sold again to another pimp.

With special thanks to Face to Ass, Telekom and thats about it.

A note from Telekom’s executive director Mr.Pukimura

"One might ask why a company like Telekom would involve itself with a project that basically has something to do with SHAFEEQ. Our view is: What's the point in having money if you can't invest it in an ass. That's why we wanted to be part of making SHAFEEQ’S Journey. Anal gives you better orgasms than your hand. When children reach puberty and realise this fact, this film becomes a very important tool for promoting anal sex. At Telekom we are not only committed to telecommunications but we plan to work closely with Face to Ass on a number of programmes in the future like opening a brothel, yes Face to Ass’s founder mr.BLU has realized there is more money in pimping so to hell with SHAFEEQ and his ass, we are going to make money out of ass too!. Because we believe that we have a responsibility in helping create a better brothel."

Stoopid-People's Guide To Sexual Positions & Cool Fetishes Part 1

2005-07-04T20:30:00.000+08:00

As we breach the teenage age barrier and experience the euphoria of buying liquor and cigarettes without hassle, a new and exhilarating activity has arisen in the precipices of our lives. Let me just put it this way, it's when a boy and a girl 'consolidate' their interests.

Anyhow, though some of us are more experienced than the other **cough*cough** shaf vs blu...
We here at Stoopid People would like to share some cool things you could do to soup up your lives and add some spice to this act of promiscuousness.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

The Bronco
You start by going doggy style and then just when she is really enjoying it, you grab her tits as tight as possible and yell another girls name. This gives you the feeling of riding a wild bronco as she desperately tries to buck you off.

Brown Bagging It
Sometimes you meet a girl with a body like there's no tomorrow but a face like a mangy dog. Don't let that body go to waste and let her hideousness stop you from fucking her though. Just draw the smiley face on a brown paper bag, place it over her head, and fuck away while keeping your composure and piece of mind.

The Carpet Cleaner
While banging a girl doggy style, tie her arms behind her back, lift up her hips, and run around the room pushing her face first across the carpet. Not recommended with large women.

The Compton Gangbang
You meet a young lady at the bar. She tells you she has a boyfriend, but she ends up going home with you anyway for a one-night stand. When you take her to your place, tell your friends to wait outside your bedroom door. Just when she's about to get off, your friends barge in the room and plainly beat the shit out of her. That should teach her not to fuck around. (Ladies, feel free to perform a Compton Gangbang on guys too. I know you've got some fat girlfriends to help you out.)

Donkey Punch
Banging a girl doggy style and then moments before you cum, you stick your dick in her ass, and then punch her in the back of the neck. The blow to the neck will stun the muscles in the female's ass, which will constrict the penis and give you a tremendous orgasmic experience when you ejaculate.

The Electric Chair
Your psychobitch girlfriend decides she wants to try something kinky, so she props your stupid naive ass up in a chair, strips you down, and ties you up. After arousing you, she then takes a car battery and clamps two jumper cables to each nut sack. This causes you to have all sorts of synapses, spasms, and convulsions. She then mounts your Frankenstein and proceeds to get electrofucked. Warning! May cause erectile dysfunction after performed.

Flaming Amazon
This one's for all you pyromaniacs out there. When your screwing some chick, right when your about to cum, you pull out and quickly grab the nearest lighter and set her pubes on fire, then...extinguish the flames with your jizz!

Editors Note : The Following Is Something That Blu Does On A Regular Basis

The Bait N' Tackle
The sailors used this one in the old Navy days. Before you go off for a long, lonely voyage, get yourself a tall jar and fill it completely with earthworms. When you get lonely, open the jar and fuck away. The earthworms will provide some slithery stimulation, and your protein load will keep them nicely fed. Gone fishing!

Couch Bombing
When you fill a small ziploc sandwich bag with Crisco (or your favorite lubrication) and place it between the cushions on the couch. You then proceed to fuck the couch as if it were a woman...but no need to buy It dinner first.

The Canine Special
Liberally apply peanut butter to your dick and call over the family dog. Lick Kong lick. Good Dog. Arf!

This may not be his regular, but soon it might happen...

Hogging
While intoxicated, high, or just plain desperate, you go searching for the fattest bitch you can find and proceed to ride her like a Harley. Best accomplished with large groups friends.

Anyway this is the end of Part 1...stay tuned for Part 2 and Blu's attempt to get back at me with this post.

Ever wanted to learn jap?... well stoopid-people is here to help

2005-07-03T23:54:00.000+08:00

**Disclaimer - the following may contain horrible english because i presume it came from a chinese fuckface who cant tell the difference between the spelling and gramatical use of mousedeer and mop. I tried to edit it as much as i could without disturbing the main meaning of the joke, but i dont think i did a good job mainly cos im really tired.**

How does a Japanese man tell someone he is broken hearted?
Hatikukecewa.

What does a Japanese guy say to a girl when he wants to harass her?
Marikuraba.

How to address a dirty-minded Japanese?
Otakukoto.

What does a group of Japanese boys say when they want to gangbang a girl?
Ramaiboleka

How to address a cheap Japanese prostitute?
Pukimura.

How does a flat-chested (TITLESS) Japanese girl describe herself?
Tetekurata.

What does a Japanese men say to a Japanese girl that refuses sex?
Maukasika.

How does a Japanese man ask a girl if his dick is too small?
Konekukecika.

How does a Japanese man invite girl to have sex with him?
Maumainka.

How does a Japanese ask if they are hairy?
Adalebatka.

Proton vs Perodua Fan Fiction

2005-06-27T05:29:00.000+08:00

Woot!
My first post with my own blogspot account.
Here's a little stab at our nations National Pride and Joy.

----------------------------------------------------------------

Once, there was a family known as Malaysia. In 1985,
they were blessed with their first born, Proton. Malaysia loved Proton whole heartedly. They gave Proton everything. They protected Proton from the
bigger boys in Kindergarten. They told Proton, "You're young, you need protection
from them. It's okay to make mistakes, you're young. Even if you don't learn
from mistakes...it's okay... you are young".

Proton became spoilt. He always depended on parents
and used up all his
allowance on useless things. When he had to do his
chores, he paid people
to do it and the work was lousy, causing the parents
having to call repairmen
to fix the mess that he made. Anyway, when Proton
was 10 (but he still
acted like he is 1 or 2 years old), he had a younger
brother, Perodua.

At first, everyone thought this younger brother will
be like Proton. Anyway,
this new baby was more handsome and looks smarter than
Proton. Malaysia
knew there is a possibilty Perodua could be smarter
than Proton. Since they
love Proton so much, they decided that Perodua can
only learn a few things.
Cannot learn the same thing as Proton. This is so that
Perodua wouldn't beat
Proton at what Proton is doing.

Although Perodua was also protected by Malaysia, he
learnt to be independent
very fast. He made good friends with Daihatsu, who had
an elder brother
Toyota. The two of them helped Perodua in everything.
Perodua, being
independent and smart, learnt a lot and in a short
while, was becoming as
good as, if not better, than Proton. Malaysia realized
that Perodua was
becoming better than his brother. Although proud of
Perodua, they still loved
Proton best. They paid Lotus (which is older and well
known worldwide) to be
friends with Proton. Using this advantage, Proton
mentioned Lotus everytime
he wanted to tell people about himself.

On his own, he was still the same. Moreover, Proton
is always not updated.
When doing his work, he still uses the typewriter and
refuses to use the
computer. Perodua, so much younger, used the computer,
with broadband for
his work. Perodua was improving so much that Toyota
has assigned him with
his work, codenamed "Avanza".In 2005, Proton is 20 years
old, Perodua only 10.
It was obvious that Perodua was the more successful of
the two siblings.
What is worse, Proton said he still needs his parents
to help him for another
10 years. He still need to protection from the big
boys.

In May 2005, Perodua was about the show Malaysia his
best work so far...
codenamed "Myvi". Proton, being jealous...quickly came up
with an unprofessional
remark about Perodua's work and showed his work at the
same time as Perodua
on purpose. The future of Malaysia and their two kids are
still unknown. But it
would be obvious that Perodua will shine, leaving
Proton crying.
I wouldn't be surprised if in 2015, Proton will ask Malaysia for
another 10 years of help and
protection...maybe this time...protection from Perodua
as well.

If relationships were as simple as this (actually... sometimes it is)

2005-06-26T18:51:00.000+08:00

Now i know i havn't posted anything in a fucking fucking..fucking long time... well the truth is there was really nothing to post.. cos only the best of the best jokes get posted here...well i found a good one but it aint a joke its just something really cool.. aite here goes.. enjoy ppl...

BOY: I need someone to talk to ..
GiRL: I`m alwayz here for you.
BOY: I know.
GiRL: Whatz wrong?
BOY: I like her *s0o* much..
GiRL: Talk to her.
BOY: I don`t know.. she`ll never like me.
GiRL: Don`t say that. You`re amazing.
BOY: I just wanna tell her how I feel ..
GiRL: Then tell her.
BOY: She won`t like me.
GiRL: How do you know that?
BOY: I can just tell.
GiRL: Well, just tell her.
BOY: What should I say?
GiRL: Tell her how much you like her.
BOY: I tell her that daily.
GiRL: What youu mean?
BOY: I'm alwayz with her. I love her.
GiRL: I know how you feel. I have the same problem. But he`ll never like me.
BOY: Wait. Who do you like?
GiRL: Ooh, some boy..
BOY: Ooh, she won`t like me either.
GiRL: She does.
BOY: How do you know.. ?
GiRL: Because who wouldn`t like you?
BOY: You..
GiRL: You`re wrong. I love you.
BOY: I love you too.
GiRL: .. so are you going to talk to her?
BOY: I just did.

..actually its kinda lame right... but what the hell he'll get to bang her.. unlike you reading this.. or me.. sigh..

Thinking out of the box?

2005-06-13T12:47:00.000+08:00

You are driving along in your car on a wild, stormy night, when you pass by a bus stop, and you see three people waiting for the bus:

1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.
2. An old friend who once saved your life.
3. The perfect partner you have been dreaming about.

Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing that there could only be one passenger in your car?

This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a job application.
You could pick up the old lady, because she is going to die, and thus you should save her first; Or you could take the old friend because he once saved your life, and this would be the perfect chance to pay him back. However, you may never be able to find your perfect mate again.

The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants) had no trouble coming up with his answer.
He simply answered: "I would give the car keys to my old friend and let him take the lady to the hospital. I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the partner of my dreams.

"However, The correct answer is to run the old lady over and put her out of her misery, have sex with the perfect partner against the bus stop sign, then drive off with the old friend for some beers.

Thoughts to Ponder

2005-05-11T21:22:00.000+08:00

1. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE

2. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?

3. OK.... so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags" and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs," what does that make the Tennessee Titans?

4. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhoea...does that mean that one enjoys it?

5. There are three religious truths:a. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.b. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith.c. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at Hooters.

6. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

7. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

8. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

9. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?

10. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a race car is not called a racist?

11. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?

12. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

13. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

14. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

15. What hair colour do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

16. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me ....they're cramming for their final exam.

17. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks , so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? toothpicks?

18. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?

19. If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

20. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive or play golf.

21. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?

22. If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?

Who shot the beaver?

2005-05-11T21:21:00.000+08:00

A 90-year-old man said to his doctor, "I've never felt better. I have an 18-year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. What do you think about that?"
The doctor considered his question for a minute and then said, "I have an elderly friend who is a hunter and never misses a season.
One day when he was going out in a bit of a hurry, he accidentally picked up his umbrella instead of his gun. When he got to the Creek, he saw a beaver sitting beside the stream. He raised his umbrella and went, 'bang, bang' and the beaver fell dead. What do you think of that?"
The 90-year-old said, "I'd say somebody else shot that beaver."The doctor replied, "My point exactly."

Having trouble understanding women? Heres help

2005-05-11T21:13:00.000+08:00

The real meaning behind all ..ALL those LIES...

40-ish.............................................49

Adventurous.................Slept with all your mates

Athletic......................................No tits

Average looking...............Has a face like an arse

Beautiful...........................Pathological liar

Contagious Smile..................Does a lot of pills

Educated...................Was fucked to bits at University

Emotionally Secure......................On medication

Feminist..........................................Fat

Free spirit....................................Junkie

Friendship first..........................Former slut

Fun..........................................Annoying

Gentle...........................................Dull

Good Listener................................Autistic

New-Age............................Body hair problems

Old-fashioned.........................No BJs or anal

Open-minded.................................Desperate

Outgoing........................Loud and Embarrassing

Passionate...............................Sloppy drunk

Poet.......................................Depressive

Professional....................................Bitch

Romantic.......................................Frigid

Social.....................Fanny like a clowns pocket

Voluptuous...................................Very Fat

Large lady.................................Hugely Fat

Wants Soul mate...............................Stalker

Widow.........................................Murderer

Sex is good exercise

2005-05-08T15:33:00.000+08:00

It has been known for many years that Sex was good exercise, but until now nobody had made a scientific study of the caloric content of different sexual activities. Now after "original and proprietary" research they are proud to present,to the LOVE group, the results.

REMOVING HER CLOTHES:
With her consent...............................12 Calories
Without her consent..........................2187 Calories

OPENING HER BRA:
With both hands................................8 Calories
With one hand...................................12 Calories
With your teeth..................................485 Calories

PUTTING ON A CONDOM:
With an erection.................................6 Calories
Without an erection............................3315 Calories

PRELIMINARIES:
Trying to find the clitoris.......................8 Calories
Trying to find the G-Spot......................4092 Calories

POSITIONS:
Missionary.......................................12 Calories
69 lying down..................................78 Calories
69 standing up................................812 Calories
Wheelbarrow..................................216 Calories
Doggy Style....................................326 Calories
Italian chandelier............................2912 Calories

ORGASMS:
Real...........................................112 Calories
Fake..........................................1315 Calories

POST ORGASM:
Lying in bed hugging...........................18 Calories
Getting up immediately.......................36 Calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately.......816 Calories

GETTING A SECOND ERECTION IF YOU ARE:
20-29 years................................... 36 Calories
30-39 years....................................80 Calories
40-49 years....................................124 Calories
50-59 years....................................1972 Calories
60-69 years....................................7916 Calories
70 and over.....................................Results are still pending

DRESSING AFTERWARDS:
Calmly.........................................32 Calories
In a hurry.....................................98 Calories
With her father knocking at the door...........5218 Calories
With your wife knocking at the door............13,521 Calories

Engineers mentality

2005-05-08T15:32:00.000+08:00

A systems engineer, mechanical engineer, and a software engineer are in a car careening down a mountainous road without brakes. The driver is furiously pumping the pedal while he steers the speeding car around the treacherous turns - stones flying and passengers gasping.
Finally, he finds an incline and the car coasts to a stop. All three get out and, thanking their lucky stars, begin to assess the situation.
"Oh," says the mechanical engineer, "the brake lines are leaking - lets patch the hole, bleed the brakes and be on our way!"
The systems engineer says, "Maybe we should consult with the manufacturer and the dealer to ensure that is really the problem."
The software engineer says, "Why don't we get back in and see if it happens again?"

Did ya jump?

2005-05-08T15:31:00.000+08:00

A young man joined the Army and signed up with the paratroopers. He went though the standard training, completed the practice jumps from higher and higher structures, and finally went to take his first jump from an airplane. The next day, he called home to his father to tell him the news. "So, did you jump?" the father asked. "Well, let me tell you what happened. We got up in the plane, and the sergeant opened up the door and asked for volunteers. About a dozen men got up and just walked out of the plane!" "Is that when you jumped?" asked the father. "Um, not yet. Then the sergeant started to grab the other men one at a time and throw them out the door." "Did you jump then?" asked the father. "I'm getting to that. Every one else had jumped, and I was the last man left on the plane. I told the sergeant that I was too scared to jump. He told me to get off the plane or he'd kick my butt." "So, did you jump?" "Not then. He tried to push me out of the plane, but I grabbed onto the door and refused to go. Finally, he called over the Jump Master. The Jump Master is this great big guy, about six-foot five, and 250 pounds. He said to me, "Boy, are you gonna jump or not?" I said, "No, sir. I'm too scared." So the Jump Master pulled down his zipper and took his penis out. I swear, it was about ten inches long and as big around as a baseball bat!" He said, "Boy, either you jump out that door, or I'm sticking this >little baby up your ass." "So, did you jump?" asked the father. "Well, a little, at first."

How they died

2005-05-08T15:30:00.000+08:00

It got crowded in heaven, so, for one day it was decided only to accept people who had really had a bad day on the day they died. St. Peter was standing at the pearly gates and said to the first man, "Tell me about the day you died."
The man said, "Oh, it was awful. I was sure my wife was having an affair, so I came home early to catch her with him. I searched all over the apartment but couldn't find him anywhere. So I went out onto the balcony, we live on the 25th floor, and found this man hanging over the edge by his fingertips.
I went inside, got a hammer, and started hitting his hands. He fell, but landed in some bushes. So, I got the refrigerator and pushed it over the balcony and it crushed him. The strain of the act gave me a heart attack, and I died."
St. Peter couldn't deny that this was a pretty bad day, and since it was a crime of passion, he let the man in.
He then asked the next man in line about the day he died. "Well, sir, it was awful," said the second man. "I was doing aerobics on the balcony of my 26th floor apartment when I twisted my ankle and slipped over the edge. I managed to grab the balcony of the apartment below, but some maniac came out and started pounding on my fingers with a hammer. Luckily I landed in some bushes. But, then the guy dropped a refrigerator on me!"
St. Peter chuckled, let him into heaven and decided he could really start to enjoy this job.
"Tell me about the day you died?", he said to the third man in line.
"OK, picture this, I'm naked, hiding inside a refrigerator...."

Cubicle drawbacks

2005-05-08T15:29:00.000+08:00

Letterman's Top 10 Reasons it Sucks to Work in a Cubicle

10. Being told to "think outside the box" when you're in a box all day long.

09. Not being able to check e-mail attachments without turning around to see who's behind you.

08. Cubicle walls do not offer much protection from any kind of gun fire.

07. That nagging feeling that if you press the right button, you'll get a piece of cheese.

06. Lack of roof rafters for the noose.

05. The walls are too close together for the hammock to work right.

04. 23 power cords - 1 outlet.

03. Prison cells are not only bigger, they also have beds.

02. The carpet has been there since 1976 and shows more signs of life than your co-workers.

And the number 1 drawback to working in a cubicle is...

You can't walk out and slam the door when you quit.

Seen my cock?

2005-05-08T15:28:00.000+08:00

An Irish priest has a hen coop with a number of hens and one rooster. One Saturday he goes into the coop to get some eggs and can't find the rooster. This bothers him because he believes that some people engage in cock fighting in the parish. He figures that he can find the culprit at mass at the next day. The next day, Sunday, he gets up on the altar and says "All of you who have a cock, stand up." All the men in church stands up.

"No, No!" says the priest, I mean, all of you who have seen a cock please stand up." All of the women in the church stands up.
"
No, no!" says the priest, I mean all of you who have seen a cock that doesn't belong to you, stand up." Half of the women in the church stands up.

"No! You still don't understand, all of you who have seen MY cock, stand up.
" All the nuns, half of the altar boys and one goat stands up.

Dead Goldfish

2005-05-08T15:26:00.000+08:00

Little Johnny was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbour peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked, "what are you up to there, Johnny?"
"My goldfish died," replied Johnny tearfully, without looking up, "and I've just buried him."

The neighbour was concerned, "that's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?" Johnny patted down the last heap of earth then replied, "that's because he's inside your fucking cat."

Guide to the romance point system

2005-05-07T23:33:00.000+08:00

Message: In the world of romance, one single rule applies to the men: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played.

Here is a guide to the point system:
SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed (+1)
You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets(-1)
You go out to buy her what she wants (+5)
In the rain (+8)
But return with Beer (-5)

You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)
You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
You pummel it with iron rod (+10)
It's her pet (-10)

SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS
You stay by her side the entire party (0)
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college buddy (-2)
Named Tina (-4)
Tina is a dancer (-6)
Tina has silicon implants (-8)

HER BIRTHDAY
You take her out to dinner (0)
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+1)
Okay, it's a sports bar (-2)
And it's all-you-can-eat night (-3)
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your favourite team (-10)

A NIGHT OUT
You take her to a movie (+2)
You take her to a movie she likes (+4)
You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
You take her to a movie you like (-2)
It's called 'DeathCop' (-3)
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)

YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30)
You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-8000)

ENJOY THE 'BIG' QUESTION
She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) [Yes, you LOSE points no matter WHAT]
You hesitate in responding (-10)
You reply, "Where?" (-35)
Any other response (-20)

COMMUNICATION
When she wants to talk about a problem , you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression (0)
You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-10000)

Now what chance do you have???

The elephant and The ant

2005-05-06T10:48:00.000+08:00

One day, while an elephant was walking through the woods, she got a thorn stuck in her foot. She saw an ant passing and asked him to help her get the thorn out.
The ant asked, "What do I get in return?"
The elephant replied, "If you get it out, I'll have sex with you."
So the ant gets busy taking the thorn out. When he finally gets it out he looks up at the elephant and says "OK it's out, are you ready?".
The elephant thinks, "Hey, what's a little ant gonna do anyways?" The ant climbs up and starts to work away. Just then a monkey overhead drops a coconut on the elephant's head.
"Ouch" screams the elephant, and the ant responds, "Yeah take it all bitch."

Tribute to our buddy Roshan... ( this is not a joke )

2005-05-04T09:15:00.000+08:00

Roshan Kena Slam...
Ppl Say "God Daymn"...
Broke Bones He Did Not...
Learnt His Lesson?... Nope Has To Be Tought...

For more graphic images and news please visit
http://lotusmamak.blogspot.com

12-Pack

2005-05-04T03:13:00.000+08:00

A father and his son go into the grocery store when they happen upon the condom aisle. The son asks his father why there are so many different boxes of condoms. The father replies, ''Well, you see that 3-pack? That's for when you're in high school. You have 2 for Friday night and 1 for Saturday night.''

The son then asks his father, ''What's the 6-pack for?''

The father replies, ''Well, that's for when you're in college. You have 2 for Friday night, 2 for Saturday night, and 2 for Sunday morning.''

Then the son asks his father what the 12-pack is for.
The father replies, ''Well, that's for when you're married. You have one for January, one for February, one for March, one for.....''

Hobbits

2005-05-04T03:09:00.000+08:00

Tales From The Shire

Two hobbits walk into a bar where one of them picks up a barfly. They taker her to ta local motel; the first hobbit goes into the motel room while the other waits outside. Once the door closes, the hobbit on the outside hears starnge noises through the door, "I can't do it, I can't do it, I CAN'T DO IT!"

In the morning, the second hobbit askes the first, "How did it go?" The first one answers. "It was embarrassing. I simply couldn''t do it."

The second hobbit shook his head. "Manhood problems, eh?"

"No. I couldnt get on the bed!"

Newton and tamil movies

2005-04-28T20:37:00.000+08:00

Recently the Father of physics (Mr. Newton) made a visit to earth to watch a movie.He watched a few Tamil movies and had his head spinning. He was convinced that all his logics and laws in physics were just a huge pile of junk and apologized for everything he had done. In the movie starring Rajanikant, Newton was confused to such an extent that he went paranoid.

Here are a few scenes:
1) Rajanikant has a Brain Tumor which, according to the doctors can't be cured and his death isimminent. In one of the fights, our great Rajanikant is shot in the head. To everybody's surprise, the bullet passes through his ears taking away the tumor along with it and he is cured. Long Live Rajanikant

2) In one of the movies, Rajanikant is confronted with 3 gangsters.Rajanikant has a gun but unfortunately only one bullet. Guess, what he does....... He holds a knife in his hand and throws at the middle gangster..&shoots the bullet towards the knife. The knife cuts the bullet into 2 pieces and kills both the gangsters on each side of the middle gangster & the knife kills the middle one.

3) Rajanikant is chased by a gangster. Rajanikant has a revolver but he has got no bullets in it. Guess what he does. Nah not even in you're wildest imaginations. He waits for the gangster to shoot. As soon as the gangster shoots, Rajanikant opens the bullet compartment of his revolver and catches the bullet. Then, he closes the bullet compartment and fires his gun. Bang... And the gangster dies....

This was too much for our Newton to take and he was completely shaken and he decided to go back. But he happened to see a movie for one last time and thought that at least one movie will follow his theory of physics.The whole movie goes fine and Newton is happy that all in the world hasn't changed. Oops not so fast.The Climax finally arrives.

Rajanikant gets to know that the villain is on the other side of a very high wall. So high that Rajanikanth can't jump even if he tries like one of those superman techniques that our heroes normally use. Rajanikant has to desperately kill the villain because its the climax. (Newton is smiling since it is virtuallyimpossible)..Rajanikant suddenly pulls two gunsfrom his pocket (Probably a backup). He throws one gun in the air and when the gun has reached the height of the wall, he shoots at the trigger ofthe first gun in air,with his second gun. Now thefirst gun fires off and the villain is dead...

Newton commits suicide.

Mick Jagger's frog

2005-04-21T08:55:00.000+08:00

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack. "Miss Whack, I'd like to get a £30,000 loan to take a holiday. "Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager. Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral. The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall - bright pink and perfectly formed. Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office. She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow £30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?
The bank manager looks back at her and says...
"It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."
(You're singing it, aren't you?!!)

The Horse and the chick

2005-04-21T08:54:00.000+08:00

The Horse and the Chicken
A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety.
The chicken runs to the farm but the farmer can't be found. So she drives the farmer's BMW back to the mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper. She then throws the other end of the rope to his friend, the horse, and drives the car forward saving him from sinking!
A few days later, the chicken and horse were playing in the meadow again and the chicken fell into the mud hole. The chicken yelled to the horse to go and get some help from the farmer. The horse said, "I think I can stand over the hole!" So he stretched over the width of the hole and said, "Grab for my 'thingy' and pull yourself up." And the chicken did and pulled herself to safety.
The moral of the story:
If you are hung like a horse, you don't need a BMW to pick up chicks.

Lion got it up the A

2005-04-21T08:53:00.000+08:00

A lion is drinking from a puddle and his tail is up. A gorilla walks up behind him, seizes the opportunity, and slips the lion a Liberace.
The gorilla takes off, and the lion takes off after him. The gorilla runs into a hunter's camp, jumps into a tent, puts on a safari outfit, a pith helmet, grabs a copy of The Johannesburg Times, sits down, and starts to read.
The lion runs into the camp, sticks his head into the tent, and roars,
" Arrgg! Did a gorilla come through here?"
The gorilla says, "You mean the one that fucked the lion in the ass?"
The lion says, "My God! You mean it's in the paper already?"

Old Horse

2005-04-21T08:52:00.000+08:00

An old farmer is outside for a walk around his land when he sees a sign on his neighbour's lawn; "Horse for Sale". Curious, he decides to have a look. As he approaches his neighbour's stable, he sees his old Italian friend brushing down a fine-looking stallion. "Hello friend, I saw your sign out there and came over to see your horse for sale." Now, the Italian farmer speaks very poor English, but manages to answer well enough. "Yep, yep, dis a is da horse for-a sale." "This horse here?" quizzes the old farmer, "Why he's a fine horse! Why-ever would you sell him?" "Well," sighs the Italian farmer, "He no looka so good anymore." The old farmer, convinced that his neighbour has lost his mind, makes the sale and leads the horse across his field over to the stable. As he taps the horse gently on the back to coax him into the stable, he watches as the horse misses the door completely and smacks head first into the wall. "That ol' cheat sold me a near blind horse!" growlsthe old farmer. He then proceeds to storm over across the field, reigns in hand, to give his neighbour a piece of his mind. "You sold me a near blind horse you ol' cheat and you didn't even tell me!" he screams. "Eh! I tolla you!" cries the Italian farmer, "I say, 'he no looka so good anymore!'"

The Duck

2005-04-21T08:48:00.000+08:00

A duck walks into a bar and says " Got any bread?"
And the barman says "No"
And the duck says "Got any bread?"
And the barman, "No!"."Got any bread?"
"I said, N-O NO!""Got any bread?"
"For cryin' out loud - N-O spells NO and I mean NO! !""Got any bread?"
"NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!""Got any bread?"
"Look, if you ask me one more fucking time if I've got anybread, I'm going to nail your fucking beak to the fucking bar!!WE HAVE NO FUCKING BREAD!!!"

"Got any nails?"

"No!"

"Got any bread?"

Whales

2005-04-21T08:47:00.000+08:00

A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan when they noticed a whaling ship. The male whale recognized it as the same ship that harpooned his father many years earlier. He said to the female:
"Let's both swim under the ship and blow out our air holes at the same time and it should cause the ship to turn over and sink. This they tried and, sure enough, the ship turned over and quickly sank. Soon however, the whales realized the sailors were swimming to the safety of the shore. Enraged, the male whale told the female, "Let's swim after them and gobble them up before they reach the shore. At this point, he realized the female was becoming reluctant to follow him. "Look," she said, "I went along with the blow job, but I absolutely refuse to swallow the seamen".

How do i tell dad?

2005-04-20T21:14:00.000+08:00

An eighteen-year-old girl tells her mom that she has missed her period for two months.
Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit. The test result shows that the girl is pregnant. Shouting, cursing, crying,the mother says, "Who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!
The girl picks up the phone and makes a call.Half an hour later a Ferrari stops in front of their house; a mature and distinguished man with gray hair and impeccably dressed in a very expensive suit steps out of it and enters the house.
He sits in the living room with the father, the mother and the girl, and tells them: "Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem. However, I can't marry her because of my personal family situation, but I'll take charge.
If a girl is born I will bequeath her 2 retail stores, a townhouse, a beach villa and a $1,000,000 bank account.
If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a $2,000,000 bank account.
If it is twins, a factory and $1,000,000 each.
However, if there is a miscarriage...
At this point, the father, who had remained silent, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him:
"You'll shag her again!"